Thread:CaptainKobold/@comment-220364-20140726001045

While the History needs expanding to cover Forever Evil, what you did to the top... hurts.
 * Sometimes, most time really, simpler is better. "Thanks to a shooting spree, Jor-Il was able to secure a lifepod for his son, whom he regarded as his best chance of revenge." is better than "Reacting in the chaos, Jor-Il shot a crowd of people to secure a lifepod for his son, whom he regarded as his best chance of revenge." And event that could be cleaned up.
 * "...taught and indoctrinates by... ..., taught that..." is redundant in the worst possible way.
 * The Power Ring claim would need a ref as to where you found it. Though those three sentences aren't really needed. 