Thread:Roscoe Coaltrane/@comment-37223231-20190309193241/@comment-35249357-20190311052953

Hey Empjoker Had a look and a read and it's good. Better than many, really. Many details I find are little things that you would prolly find when you add to it.


 * I never thought of putting hot-links in the text of the Quotation. Nice.


 * Under “Relatives”, sometimes i find it neater to insert a break rather than a bullet point. Eg, where you have a semi-colon (“;”)between names, try using “ ”.


 * In the first paragraph of the history, the tense changes a bit. It could read: “...merged with a creature that *had* escaped from Heaven and *developed* the ability...”


 * You’ve varied the sentence structure well.  Just keep the details clear and the tense in the past.


 * The second “Jesse” under “The Search for God” has a single open square bracket infront. Later, after “Root took Jesse by surprise...” i think you mean *Cassidy*, not Custer.


 * Most of the article should be in past tense rather than present. “The Search for God” section - “were searching” might be better as just “searched”.


 * “when the Saint showed up, Root was distracted. {Insert a Double space} Arseface.”


 * the “Angelville Once More” paragraph is unclear and maybe needs one more pass by you for clarity. I’m not sure what the sentence that starts “Tulip help, who had been resurrected” means.  Unless you mean her name O’Hare.

It's all clear, with details not repeating. A good entry.

If you are also doing the series synopsis for Preacher, and duplicating your work, you can always put the big details in one page, while doing brief notes on the other with a template to direct readers to the 'main' article with more detail. Heh. Do you know how to insert wikitext in a post? The same way as the 'remark' statements that you put in the article. Otherwise I couldn't post this here.

Good to see more pages and synopses being made. I see your edits are already over 100. Jeeez!

R