I got bored
Interview with Inmate by Doctor Hugo Strange (DS) with The Joker (J)
DS: Hello there Joker I hope your stay here at Arkham has been pleasant?
J: Oh yes Doc it has. Especially those Shock Therapy sessions you prescribed to me.
DS: Of course a sadist like you would enjoy that. But to get on to the subject I'm here to interview you about your past.
J: Oh what is there to know. It’s not like I'll tell you my secret. At least take me on a date first AHAHAHA.
DS: Joker this is about your rehabilitation not for any personal gain.
J: Ok what do you want to know?
DS: Well let’s start with your childhood.
J: My childhood? What’s to know? Father was a Blind Fortune Teller, mother was a Snake whisperer both worked for Haly’s Circus.
DS: I see. So tell me Joker. Did you work with your parents at the circus?
J: No, I usually stayed in our wagon.
DS: I see. So how were your parents? Did they treat you well?J: No they played a game everynight called “Lets get drunk and beat our son”
DS: Fascinating. And how did that make you feel?
J: Horrible.
DS: So where are your parents now?J: Dead. I killed both of them when I turned 16 years old.
DS: Killed them? What did you do with their bodies?
J: Easy. Snakes get hungry don’t they?
DS: You feed them to the snakes?
J: Yes I did. I chopped them up and fed them piece by piece to them. No one noticed their disappearance since people disappear from circuses all the time.
DS: But they were your parents! I’m sure deep down they cared and loved you.
J: You’d think that but no.
DS: Ok so what then happened after your parents demise?
J: I left the circus when I turned 18. Went to college and got a degree in chemistry.
DS: I see. What did you do for work before what happened to you?
J: I worked at the Ace Chemicals Corporation. That was until I found out that they had been underpaying their workers. So I decided to make them pay. I designed this red helmet with two way mirrors. I put on a red cape and a suit. I called myself “The Red Hood”
DS: Wait, the red hood gang was started by you?J: Yes it was. Me and my merry gang robbed each of the various corporations around Gotham that were connected to Ace Chemicals. Then one night I met him.
DS: Batman?J: Yes Batman. He started a campaign against me and my gang. Batman took down each member of my gang. Then one night when me and my gang were robbing Ace Chemicals Plant. When he showed up. He took down my men one by one. Then he saw me. So I ran and he chased me. We fought and I tripped on my cape and I fell into a vat of acid. My helmet should have protected me but there was a crack when Batman punched me. When I emerged from the vat I removed my helmet. It melted. The acid turned my face chalk white. My eyes, green. My hair, green. My lips turned ruby red. I looked like a clown, I thought. Then I laughed. I laughed and vowed to kill Batman no matter what.
DS: I see. Well Joker thank you for telling me this. This’ll help with my report.
J: Anytime Doctor. Anytime. Oh and tell your lovely wife and child I said hello.
DS: How did you know that I'm married?J: Oh doctor, I know everything about you. Like all I need is to make one phone call and your wife and child will take an unexpected trip to timbuktu. So keep that in mind the next time you decide to get into my head.
DS: I will Joker. I will.
Interview ends
It is my professional opinion from that interview alone that The Joker is 100% and completely and totally insane. He should never be allowed to leave Arkham ever. I think he should stay here until he dies