"Definitely Not Cricket": The Rifle Brigade are shackled in a cell and are at the mercy of Gerta Gasch, who has a personal grudge with Hugo Darcy. Meanwhile, Oberst Flaschmann is arguing with Hauptman Venkschaft and demanding the Gestapo officer that the Rifle Brigade are under the Wehrmacht's c
Appearing in "Definitely Not Cricket"
Synopsis for "Definitely Not Cricket"
The Rifle Brigade are shackled in a cell and are at the mercy of Gerta Gasch, who has a personal grudge with Hugo Darcy. Meanwhile, Oberst Flaschmann is arguing with Hauptman Venkschaft and demanding the Gestapo officer that the Rifle Brigade are under the Wehrmacht's custody. Venkschaft is steadfast against it, as he knowingly believes that Flaschmann is simply using the Rifle Brigade for propaganda purpose in favor of the Wehrmacht. After a heated trade of words, Flaschmann leaves Venkschaft's office but swearing that he will have a way in gaining custody over the Rifle Brigade.
Back at the cells, Gasch mocks the Rifle Brigade but only to be strongly refuted and undermine by Darcy when referring America as, according to Darcy, still a British colony (much to the irate of Hank the Yank). Gasch silences Darcy and tells him why she holds a deep grudge on him: in 1933, Hugo Darcy was leading in "The Great M'Boppo Elephant Hunt" in Gambia's M'Boppo Valley in which he indirectly killed Gerta's father when he chased the elephant into stampeding over the elder Gasch, who was masturbating in an outhouse with a set of pornographic postcards. Gerta was present at her father's death and watched Darcy galloping away without any second thought of what he done. Darcy is surprise to hear all this and admits to Gasch that he didn't really see the elder Gasch when he was chasing the elephant and that his death was an accident. But Gerta Gasch remains ever vengeful and decide to morally break him by having the Rifle Brigade broken: starting with Doubtful Milk.
Sometime later, the Rifle Brigade (minus Milk) are free from their shackles by Sergeant Crumb and are again confronted by Gasch. A roughed up Milk is brought before them, which Darcy agonize over the Lieutenant from apparent internal bleeding until he realized he only suffered two broken teeth. Gasch laughs over this and shares her belief that Darcy's "stiff upper lip" is subtly homosexual in nature for attending public school. However, Darcy is unfazed and tells her that attending public school is part of the benefits of English restraint and that man-on-man love is "absolute twaddle". Darcy is then brought to be interrogate as he swears that he will not break.
Moments later, a very beaten up Darcy is brought before his Brigade. Gasch attempts to force Darcy to say "Hitler is my one true and rightful Fuhrer." But, Darcy defies her by singing "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" along with his Brigade and every Allied prisoner, who hears their singing, within the prison. Darcy then tells Gasch that the Rifle Brigade will never be crush, stating that the Brigade and like its predecessors in the ancient past will always persevere in the end.
After Gasch has left, Darcy ask Doubtful as to what were the Brigade's mission. Milk in turn is confuse, in which it is then learn that there has been a miscommunication between Milk and Darcy over telephone caused the Rifle Brigade going on a mistaken commando mission, in which it is nothing but a wild goose chase that cause their predicament much to the ire of the Rifle Brigade's revelation. They are then confronted by Venkschaft, who wrongly suspects, while inadvertently revealing to the Rifle Brigade, that they are attempting to destroy a secret V-2 rocket research laboratory which is right next to where they are imprisoned. The facility also so happen to contain the single synthesizing fuel for the rockets which would destroy the Allied D-Day invasion. This catches Darcy's keen interest.
- This issue is reprinted in the Adventures in the Rifle Brigade trade paperback.
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