"This Town's No Good": In a poker game, a man named Amos Blackthorne is annoyed to be told by his opponent, Jonah Hex that there is a bounty on his head that he intends to collect. Blackthorne attempts to defend himself, but he is unaware that Hex has brought back
Synopsis for "This Town's No Good"
In a poker game, a man named Amos Blackthorne is annoyed to be told by his opponent, Jonah Hex that there is a bounty on his head that he intends to collect. Blackthorne attempts to defend himself, but he is unaware that Hex has brought backup with him in the form of Tallulah Black, who lassos the man from outside, and drags him through the streets from the back of her horse. When she comes to a stop, Jonah determines that the man is still alive, and given that his men are too, they might as well make their getaway with the bounty before people start coming for them.
They drag him to the next town, demanding a place to wait out the storm that has drenched them since they left. The barkeep at the local saloon obliges at gunpoint, as a secretive woman sneaks off unseen. While Jonah and Tallulah contend with their bounty's annoyingly big mouth, a doctor soon arrives at the saloon to inquire after a prostitute who claims to be sick. The night wears on, and soon the people of the town begin converging on the saloon with rifles in hand.
Inside the saloon, Tallulah's typically nasty demeanour is unhelped by her drunkenness, and but she collapses soon after demanding another drink. Thinking it hilarious, Jonah laughs until he too collapses. As it happens, the barkeep and the doctor drugged them to get to Blackthorne. Soon, the townspeople arrive to take Blackthorne to the lockup, and the barkeep eagerly suggests that they kill the unconscious bounty hunters who brought him. The doctor, though, suggests that they simply strap them to their horses and run them out of town.
By the time Jonah and Tallulah wake, they are long away, and Tallulah is not happy about her lucky shotgun having gone missing in the interim. Jonah doubts how lucky a shotgun could be, so she tells the story of the time she was in Mexico carrying the decapitated head of Valdez Wuz as proof of her bounty, and on the run from his naturally upset employees. Some children let her getaway horse loose, meaning she had to improvise. She bet on her pistol, with only six bullets to kill as many men. Only five of those bullets hit their marks, and she worried the sixth man might get the better of her - until his shotgun jammed. She grabbed the gun away from him and turned it back at him, despite having seen that it didn't work. When she pulled the trigger, it fired its shot straight into his chest. So, it was her lucky shotgun.
Jonah is unimpressed by the tale, but Tallulah's retort is interrupted by a couple on a wagon, inquiring as to why they are bound to their horses. When Jonah explains that he and Tallulah are bounty hunters, the man - a preacher - decides that the lord will help those who help themselves and ditches the pair without helping them.
The next afternoon, the pair are surprised to see that same preacher and his wife the victims of bandits. Despite how they were treated, Jonah rides over and warns the bandits to lay off, only to be laughed at. The bandits shoot down the pair's horses, trapping them beneath them. This may be the last day of their lives.
Appearing in "This Town's No Good"
- Amos Blackthorne
- American Old West