Are you sure you're not related to the Joker?
Well, you've got to understand Superman-- Alfred comes from a line of "gentlemen's gentlemen!" He has generations of tradition to maintain! To call me anything else would offend his sense of what is proper! It doesn't mean he's any less of a friend, though!
Besides, I have a real problem to worry about! Ma Muder was released from prison this morning! She's been there twenty years and I doubt she's reformed. She's as mad as the Joker and potentially as dangerous!
Maybe it isn't really fun to be robbed The Joker but it sure was fun catching him!
There, Scarns... Our gallery of enemies! The people who have caused us the most trouble! All candidates for the morgue! Bruce Wayne's statue has been draped in a black shroud... Because he's dead! You did a good job when you knocked off Wayne! But now, I want you to "hit"... Superman's pal... Jimmy Olsen! But you won't have all the fun! I'm reserving that punk... Batman's sidekick... for myself! While you take care of Olsen, I'll nail Robin!
Goodbye, Thomas... my brother! Your tragic life is over... your sick soul is finally at peace!
If the world ever had a true hero-- that's him.
I had planned to tell Lana your identity... But now I don't even want to know it myself! At present I'm too young to be trusted with your secret!
No, O'Quarious, these kids are not the problem... it's us and our middle-class hang-ups! It is we who should learn from them! If there is any hope in this crazy, messed-up mudball of ours, it lies with the kids! They possess the wisdom of the truly ignorant! They are our future! Look at them and learn, O'Quarious!
I brought that young man up as if he were my own son, Alfred! I was impressed with Dick's intelligence and skill at an early age... with his eagerness to learn... I was impressed enough to make him my partner... enough to let him strike out on his own! I'm not impressed by the accomplishments of Batgirl or Robin anymore... I've come to expect them!
Ha, Ha... They'll never make a lap dog out of Bat Hound!
Come on, Robin! I want to use my muscles again!
We did it! Kathy and I got married!
He -- he's dead! Robin is dead! He sacrificed himself for me on this alien world!
The Riddler gave us clues, but we didn't tumble to them! -- My faith in human nature is restored!
I was thinking of how cute Poison Ivy is-- I hate to put such a beautiful doll behind bars!
We can't thank you enough, Alfred! I guess we had lost sight of our original purposes! We're grateful to you for reminding us!
It's an awful slim lead, but I'll grab at straws when Gotham's drowning!
Ordinarily, I'd enjoy a kiss from a beautiful woman! But after I've seen you hungry to kill...
I've begun it -- the war with Ra's al Ghul! -- The war only one of us can survive. On his side, dozens of trained soldiers -- assassins -- And on mine, a reluctant scientist, a superstitious bandit, and a dead gangster.
Ra's al Ghul is... dead?!
Seems like every creep I go against has a walking tub of suet whose brains are in his knuckles! They huff and puff and swing... work up a lot of sweat making like brawlers when they probably couldn't whip orphan Annie! Eventually I get tired of their antics... or maybe I feel sorry for them!
No! Don't leave! The world needs you! Will you help? Will you come out of retirement?
That stinking rat decoyed me... set me up like an amateur! I've been jobbed!
The serving girl...! Her movements -- fluid as quicksilver... unmistakably graceful -- and the voice like sun-warmed honey! It's her!
Scared, Scarecrow?-- Didn't you know I strike terror in the hearts of criminals?
You'll be hearing from me, Commissioner... when I have something to say!
For amateurs, you've been diabolically clever! Seldom have any criminals caused me such grief! You've deceived me... humiliated me--! The trouble is... I tend not to stay deceived and humiliated! Men like you are driven by greed! I have a stronger motivation! I hate crime... hate it with every fiber of my being!
Even in a word as confused and uncertain as ours, justice still exists-- and whether through me or through the machinery of civilization-- the law-- justice triumphs!
You kept telling me to kill you, Spook-- but I won't do it! You're not going to die-- you'll just wish you were dead!
There are still unanswered questions... But what else can it be except an insane terrorist conspiracy to blow up-- pulverize!-- the Panama Canal.
What do you mean-- "real identity?" Is the Batman any less real than Bruce Wayne? Aren't they both absolutely real?
Deduction had little to do with solving this Commissioner... it was mostly luck! Aye, the luck o' the Irish!
Bad taste in clothing is the least of your crimes, mister...
What makes people like the Kite-Man do the things they do? Why do some children never grow up?
The Riddler isn't interested in anyone-- except himself!
You won't die, Selina-- I'll see to that! You can't die-- you're the woman Bruce Wayne loves!
... die, Commissioner!
Alfred, every so often I find myself wondering if this crusade of mine means anything. I wonder if it makes any difference. And, if truth can be told, there are times I despair for want of an answer! But then... times like this justify all the horrors and all the hells.
I choose hell, and to hell with you!
You'll never make it in the underworld wearing those threads, anyway...Burger King will sue you for trademark infringement!
Get off me-- you lunatic! What you're pretending to be isn't real-- it isn't-- my God... ...blood...
We are responsible for each other. You hurt me by leaving Gotham... I hurt you by starting up with Vicki. Life can take people in opposite directions. It's not fair. It's the way things are. Neither of us intended the hurt we gave. But for the hurt I gave you, Selina, I'm sorry...
Thank you, Dick... for all the years... for everything.
Save the humor until we're home-free, Robin... and remember everything I've ever taught you. This is death we face... NOW!
Anton Knight-- once known as the Thief-of-Night and now as Night-Slayer-- is not the Batman... I AM.
...I think that costume is making you reckless--
You succeeded, Black Mask. All trace of Roman Sionis has been obliterated... and you've masked yourself for life.
In the beginning, Gordon, perhaps he really did have two sides, one good and one evil, but his evil side has steadily grown stronger over the years-- eating away the good man who was once District Attorney Harvey Dent. He's the most tragic foe I've ever faced, Gordon, and I still feel as I always have. Short of capital punishment, the only way to put an end to Two-Face's evil is to reach the good side of Harvey Dent trapped inside-- and free it.
Listen to me, Dent! You're making the wrong choice! You don't have to succumb to evil just because half your face was ruined! You were once a good man! Then you turned half-good and half-evil... but now you're turning all evil! Don't you see? That proves you can go the other way too! You can return to being Harvey Dent again!
He's a great dog! It was he who really saved us!
I've heard the cries of the dying... and the mourning... the victims of crime and injustice... I swore I'd do everything in my power to avenge those deaths... to protect innocent lives... and if I fail to keep that promise... my entire life is a lie!
I want to tell you that I'm proud of you. Sometimes I realize my war on crime is unwinnable... but at times like this, I honestly believe we can do it -- that we'll see a day when there's an end to crime, to suffering, to injustice... and on that day, none of us will need masks anymore... on that day, none of us will be Outsiders...!
Come with me, all of you. You've nothing to return to... you're all looking for something, and I can help you find it... whether it's the proper way to use your powers... or who you really are... or simply some kind of purpose in your lives!
We have no need to bargain... we could end your entire race with a few more volts... but we won't. Just remember that we could.
He told you what you wanted to hear, so you could do what you wanted to do... commit "acts of war" against innocents who'd never hurt you in the least! And as long as men rationalize injustice... my war -- the Outsiders' war -- will never reach an end!
... It's fact, sir -- The Blackhawks are washed-up has-beens, out of date antiques, a danger to national security! To put it bluntly ... They just don't swing!
They are good soldiers. And like all good soldiers...they have to learn to adapt.
You're everything I could possibly want in a woman... beautiful, intelligent, loyal! If I was anyone else, I'd cherish you for the rest of my life! But I can't consider our marriage real! I have a mission and you'd keep me from doing what I must! So, forgive me Talia!
Dick-- there's one thing I learned while I was Barney Warren. There'll never be another Robin!
Robin, I must tell you the truth! I'm afraid of anything that resembles a bat...
Another crook who wants to make himself a reputation by outsmarting me!
Use your common sense, Robin!
I want to make sure that the world doesn't forget! Alfred deserves a fine tribute-- a memorial!
Odd, Robin! We've seldom done less deduction on a case! It seems to me that mainly we had to think fast and act fast--
He's too tough for Batman... but not for Bruce Wayne!
He made all the hits-- and we made all the errors!
Here's where I cloud up and rain all over you, Weather Wizard! I'm in a stormy mood myself, you see!
Outsider-- I'm going to get you-- if it's the last thing I ever do!
All of us have deep buried fears! Me too! But I'm not going to give into those fears! Give them an inch-- and they want a mile! That's the way fears are! Got to fight them-- like we fight crime itself!
Langstrom! What mad cravings made you go this far? Man-Bat was evil enough! But now... a Vampire-Bat?
You actually want me-- Bruce Wayne, number one playboy of the jet set-- to convince someone like Batman to turn himself in? Outrageous!
I made a promise on the graves of my parents-- to battle evil in all forms, no matter what the cost-- and that's one promise I won't break, old friend-- even if it costs me my life!
The Batman seldom enjoys himself! I'm certain he envies those who can lead peaceful lives! He's driven... he's burdened with a compulsion to battle crime! It isn't pretty-- it's simply what he does... what he needs to do! Don't pity him-- but don't condemn him either!
This is my city, Royal--the best in the country, and maybe in the world, in spite of the rats that live here! I've sworn to keep it clean of rats! That's my right!
Attention... Maxie Zeus-- this is the Batman! Despite all your cleverness, you failed! I'm not dead-- and I'm laughing at you! You're a paltry excuse for a God... unable to defeat a mere mortal like me! You're probably ashamed to face me!
I have been beaten. I have been shot. I've been subjected to fists and bullets and rockets and dynamite-- in order to save your life-- and you dare... you dare refuse to have it saved? I could make you come! I could hit you and carry you out and I want to! I've never wanted to do anything more! But I won't... God help me, I will not! If I believe anything, it's that each man is responsible for his own choices! Goodbye, reverend! Enjoy your martyrdom!
Alfred-- I never joke.
I may not have as many lives as a cat, Blake... but I'm just as hard to kill as you are. Maybe a little more so.
Lately, I've allowed the Foundation to rule my life. I've lost sleep-- spent hours pouring over obscure reports-- wasted my energies on business that had nothing to do with my lifetime goals. In a word, I'm exhausted. That's why I'm resigning my position as Chief Executive Officer of both the Foundation and Wayne Enterprises.
You're no God Zeus-- just a sorry little psychopath with delusions of grandeur! Nobody worships you punk-- they pity you!
I have needs now, Alfred -- Dirty, horrible needs -- Needs I can't control!
We'll have a long talk someday soon, Wayne-- about the chance that brought you here!
You've won rounds one and two, Croc... but round three is going to be mine!
This is it, Man-Bat! You've gone too far! No more will I treat you with kid gloves simply because I feel sorry for you! You've crossed the line-- and I'm coming after you with blood in my eyes! Do you hear me, Man-Bat? I'm going to kill you!!
I possess and control more money than any thousand people could reasonably spend in very long lifetimes. - It means nothing to me. I wouldn't shed a single tear if it all vanished this very second. Yet for one solid hour this afternoon... after they came and took Jason away from me... I broke down and wept. Money is fine gentlemen, but it isn't real.
Sorry to mix business with pleasure, Catwoman, but it is the cross borne by those who work nights.
Worst night of my life, Alfred. Absolutely, without a doubt, the most miserable night of my life.
We've been a team from the early days, Superman... And there's no need to start worrying about each other's safety now! Stop worrying about grown men who can take care of themselves!
There's your reason out there! Superman and I have been friends for a long, long time-- The World's Finest! We're a team!
If we've offended you, Zatanna, we apologize... but we honestly believe you'd want election to the League! After all, we worked well together, during your search for your father, the Magician Zatara-- and as Wonder Woman indicated once, the League is in sore need of more women to balance our rolls!
Robin! What have I done to you?
By God, Joker-- you've done your last criminal act! I swear this time to hunt you down and destroy you like the mad dog you are!!
Lois sure deserves that super-kiss!
Poor Gordon! He really is getting too old! They did him a favor...retiring him before he becomes decrepit! Hope someone does the same when my time comes!
Jack? Do me a favor? Don't call me "BATS"!
I can't help being who or what I am! I'm sorry if that upsets you -- but I didn't ask to come here! You think it's fun, being in a world where an older version of yourself has died? Try facing your own mortality like that sometime, Robin! It's not very pleasant!
I'm the best I've been in days, Helena... because I've just realized that the Batman existed for more reasons than fighting crime... he exists to spare others the loss I felt when my parents died--
We were given a clean green world as a gift! This is what happens when we don't take care of it! The world will become a junkyard! Each generation is the guardian of this planet-- passing it on to the next-- that's you! You're the future-- the world belongs to you! I'm not going to stand here and watch you being ripped off! - Clean up your own backyard and you can clean up a planet!
All right, that's enough! Look at yourself feeling sorry for yourself! Is this how your parents trained you? Would they want you to deny your abilities, to refuse to use them to help mankind... because your life isn't perfect?
Life's a grim joke, Ragman--! Either we laugh ai it-- or cry unheard!
So suddenly you turn all goody-goody! Kind of late, baby, isn't it?
The Flash... dead... and it's all my fault! I should have stopped him -- locked him up if necessary! Those fiends... they knew he was ill, and deliberately ran him to death!
We heroes without super-powers have to improvise, G.L.!
No! No! I'm Bruce Wayne! You're Clark Kent -- and Superman too! Has everyone gone crazy?
I could stand it to be inferior to you, but I can't forgive your tricking me... making me a fake hero! I'm through with you Superman... for good!
It's no dream... what I suspected is true! We're not on our own Earth at all!
Er... On our world, we hunters name ourselves after our trapping regions! I'm from the land of Bat... My partner's from the land of Super!
All right! I have to shield him! That murdering madman... is my own brother!!
What does it mean? The head shrinks say dreams are a way of working out problems... But I can't figure this particular nightmare! Well, no sense trying to get back to sleep... Time for the Bat to fly!
Hated to trick Superman... But I couldn't let Dr. Lucas sacrifice himself! He means too much to his family... The universe...! As Batman, I've had a full life... In fact, two full lives when you're considering my Bruce Wayne identity! Well, it was fun-- And fury!
Never dreamed it would come to this... That to save the world, I must kill my greatest friend, Superman! Nobody's sadder than I am, fella... But it must be done!
I figure that one of my duties as your friend is to save you from yourself!
Superman I've got this terrible feeling... that our problems have just gone from bad to worse!
We can't condone their methods-- but we can't condemn them for their goals...
Superman, well he's seen a lot of things. He's encountered wonders we'd never find if we spent our whole lives away and searching. He's seen the Earth rise while standing in the tail of a streaking comet and shadowboxed with starfighters that could shatter a sun. He's walked on worlds the size of a thumb-print... and worlds made of water that broke at his touch into a thousand glistening droplets. Stars that scream and stars that sing and stars that think. He knows them all. We dream that we may someday catch a falling star... he's done it. Does that answer your question?
You wouldn't have to be thanking me now... if you'd handled the situation a little differently than you always do... flying right into the thick of things. You're faster than a speeding bullet... slow down... and use that super-brain once in a while. The night... the shadows... those are my domain. The backstreets and back alleys... they're my territory. Leave them to an expert. The world almost lost Superman... because of his foolish impetuosity. I'll save your neck any time... but I won't write your epitaph. Think about it.
Never mind repairing the Batplane now, Superman. The bigger problem is Lois Lane's discovery of your identity. -- Wait! Suppose we confused her! Suppose she were now to discover that Bruce Wayne is Superman!
If it's the last thing we ever do, we must beat Superman!
You make it almost too easy, Superman!
What the princess really means, strong-boy, is that she prefers my company... so why don't you just take off?
All items (232)
- Action Comics Vol 1 241
- Action Comics Vol 1 556
- Adventure Comics Vol 1 275
- Alfred Pennyworth (Earth-One)
- Anthony Wayne (New Earth)
- Batman Vol 1 100
- Batman Vol 1 103
- Batman Vol 1 108
- Batman Vol 1 109
- Batman Vol 1 113
- Batman Vol 1 119
- Batman Vol 1 122
- Batman Vol 1 127
- Batman Vol 1 147
- Batman Vol 1 156
- Batman Vol 1 166
- Batman Vol 1 179
- Batman Vol 1 181
- Batman Vol 1 200
- Batman Vol 1 207
- Batman Vol 1 216
- Batman Vol 1 217
- Batman Vol 1 219
- Batman Vol 1 221
- Batman Vol 1 222
- Batman Vol 1 225
- Batman Vol 1 235
- Batman Vol 1 237
- Batman Vol 1 242
- Batman Vol 1 243
- Batman Vol 1 245
- Batman Vol 1 250
- Batman Vol 1 253
- Batman Vol 1 254
- Batman Vol 1 256
- Batman Vol 1 257
- Batman Vol 1 260
- Batman Vol 1 261
- Batman Vol 1 262
- Batman Vol 1 267
- Batman Vol 1 268
- Batman Vol 1 269
- Batman Vol 1 270
- Batman Vol 1 274
- Batman Vol 1 276
- Batman Vol 1 282
- Batman Vol 1 284
- Batman Vol 1 291
- Batman Vol 1 303
- Batman Vol 1 307
- Batman Vol 1 312
- Batman Vol 1 315
- Batman Vol 1 317
- Batman Vol 1 322
- Batman Vol 1 323
- Batman Vol 1 324
- Batman Vol 1 325
- Batman Vol 1 329
- Batman Vol 1 334
- Batman Vol 1 336
- Batman Vol 1 342
- Batman Vol 1 347
- Batman Vol 1 348
- Batman Vol 1 350
- Batman Vol 1 355
- Batman Vol 1 359
- Batman Vol 1 368
- Batman Vol 1 370
- Batman Vol 1 376
- Batman Vol 1 381
- Batman Vol 1 383
- Batman Vol 1 385
- Batman Vol 1 387
- Batman Vol 1 392
- Batman Vol 1 393
- Batman Vol 1 397
- Batman Vol 1 398
- Batman Vol 1 400
- Batman Vol 1 92
- Batman Vol 1 96
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 10
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 13
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 1
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 23
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 28
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 29
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 2
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 32
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 3
- Batman and the Outsiders Vol 1 5
- Batman Family Vol 1 7
- Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight Vol 1 94
- Blackhawk Vol 1 228
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 111
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 113
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 126
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 168
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 172
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 178
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 181
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 182
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 184
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 188
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 192
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 196
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 64
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 67
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 69
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 74
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 78
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 79
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 85
- The Brave and the Bold Vol 1 99
- Bruce Wayne (Earth-One)
- DC Challenge Vol 1 1
- DC Retroactive: Batman-The '70s Vol 1 1
- DC Special Series Vol 1 15
- Detective Comics Vol 1 228
- Detective Comics Vol 1 231
- Detective Comics Vol 1 234
- Detective Comics Vol 1 235
- Detective Comics Vol 1 237
- Detective Comics Vol 1 239
- Detective Comics Vol 1 241
- Detective Comics Vol 1 243
- Detective Comics Vol 1 247
- Detective Comics Vol 1 256
- Detective Comics Vol 1 259
- Detective Comics Vol 1 268
- Detective Comics Vol 1 275
- Detective Comics Vol 1 298
- Detective Comics Vol 1 328
- Detective Comics Vol 1 329
- Detective Comics Vol 1 339
- Detective Comics Vol 1 341
- Detective Comics Vol 1 345
- Detective Comics Vol 1 347
- Detective Comics Vol 1 353
- Detective Comics Vol 1 356
- Detective Comics Vol 1 358
- Detective Comics Vol 1 363
- Detective Comics Vol 1 387
- Detective Comics Vol 1 404
- Detective Comics Vol 1 417
- Detective Comics Vol 1 429
- Detective Comics Vol 1 444
- Detective Comics Vol 1 445
- Detective Comics Vol 1 446
- Detective Comics Vol 1 448
- Detective Comics Vol 1 450
- Detective Comics Vol 1 451
- Detective Comics Vol 1 457
- Detective Comics Vol 1 464
- Detective Comics Vol 1 469
- Detective Comics Vol 1 470
- Detective Comics Vol 1 471
- Detective Comics Vol 1 473
- Detective Comics Vol 1 478
- Detective Comics Vol 1 484
- Detective Comics Vol 1 490
- Detective Comics Vol 1 491
- Detective Comics Vol 1 497
- Detective Comics Vol 1 508
- Detective Comics Vol 1 509
- Detective Comics Vol 1 511
- Detective Comics Vol 1 514
- Detective Comics Vol 1 517
- Detective Comics Vol 1 518
- Detective Comics Vol 1 525
- Detective Comics Vol 1 527
- Detective Comics Vol 1 536
- Detective Comics Vol 1 542
- Detective Comics Vol 1 561
- Detective Comics Vol 1 563
- Detective Comics Vol 1 567
- Jack Ryder (New Earth)
- The Joker's Happy Victims!
- Justice League of America Vol 1 117
- Justice League of America Vol 1 141
- Justice League of America Vol 1 161
- Justice League of America Vol 1 163
- Justice League of America Vol 1 197
- Justice League of America Vol 1 44