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Ready for a story about superheroes? Ugh, more TV superheroes, just what the world needs! Be honest, have you hung yourself yet? Or, what if I told you this was actually a story about super-zeros? Losers, achingly pathetic metahuman goose eggs. How about it? Ready to feel better about your own miserable lives for the next hour or so? Follow me. 
I like it, a menage-a-us. And we shall call ourselves the Brotherhood of Dangerous Animals!!! [...] And vengeance... will be mine... Again, for real, this time. And when we get Niles Caulder... again... THE WORLD WILL BE OURS!!!
I'm crafting a story piece by piece. The search for the Chief, this unexpected wet dream of yours... this is a very important chapter. It's the day Niles Caulder changed... forever.
Check out your little ragtag crew. They couldn't even leave the house without screwing up, and now they made it all the way here. And you are the only thing that can save them. It's kind of beautiful, no? Go on, Niles. Tell them the truth.
After thirteen pointless, meandering episodes of character-driven schlock, we can finally get to the show that everyone wanted to see in the first place... a superhero show!!! Right versus wrong, good versus evil, hero... versus villain... that's me!
Alas, poor Caulder. Burdened with the father's fear. He begs for the ear of his far superior nemesis. Will Mister Nobody and the Chief truly rally together for the salvation of the human race? ...Sure!
Finally! A superhero team I can actually get behind. A superhero team I can actually use! Took you emo navel-gazers long enough to work through your bullshit! [...] After thirteen pointless, meandering episodes of character-driven schlock, we can finally get to the show that everyone wanted to see in the first place... a superhero show!!! Right versus wrong, good versus evil, hero... versus villain. That's me! You bozos want the Chief? Come and get him.
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Eric Morden (Doom Patrol TV Series) -
Doom Patrol (TV Series) Episode: Paw Patrol -
Brotherhood of Dangerous Animals (Doom Patrol TV Series)
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