James Olsen (Earth-One)/Quotes

Chief, this may be the end-- And I want you to know, you're the best editor a guy could ever work with! I mean that!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

It's too bad we can't print the news of your return to Earth, Lois. The Planet is just a memory now! It was destroyed in the last war, and we've all retired to live on this island!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Naturally, my fame lived through the centuries!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Holy Cow! You... you mean you'll adopt me Superman?

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I can always get help with my secret Superman signal, hidden in this wristwatch!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Me a reincarnation of Marco and Spartacus?

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I'm trapped! They will plug me if I don't talk! And being all tied up, there's no way to set off my secret Superman signal!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

He's always rushing off like that! Maybe the guy has to take a tranquilizer!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

What a great bunch of guys! I feel like writing their story!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I did it! I made Superman disappear!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Everyone gets a golden egg but me!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

It just seems fitting, Mr. Edge... Because when Zodiac stole that coin, he really got your goat! Ha! Ha! Ha!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

No, it proved twice it could foretell the future exactly! And now it's foretold death for Robin and me! I know I'm going to die...

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

And if you think his space-stories were sci-fi ripoffs-- You should have heard his other routine-- About his career as Earth's first super-scientific criminal! He was bragging about how all Metropolis was at his mercy... Or as he put it, at the mercy of... Get this... Microwave Man!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I don't believe this garbage, Justin. How could the Eagle let Stasson get away with such lies? Superman's saved this ungrateful city a million times!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Somebody broke into The Toyman's hotel room last night and stole one of his wind-up toys! Wait a minute-- There's a whole story here! Somebody robbing The Toyman is like a man biting a dog!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Very enterprising of you Stasson! You keep your hot story holed up in a motel... ...so you can milk headlines out of his condition instead of trying to find a way to help him!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Daddy! Superboy brought you back for my birthday party -- Just like he promised!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

In the future, I'm Superman's pal! Now, back in his boyhood times, I'm Superboy's pal, too! Hurray!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

More Bananas, Waiter!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

YIPES! And Perry White thought this would be a tame story for me to cover!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Superman didn't even notice me! Am I... I his ex-pal now?

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

That female wants to put me in a harem!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

What! A tiny bottle world inside the bottle world of Kandor--and this bottle also contains living creatures shrunk to tiny size!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Hold everything, kids! You can't do the Beatle dance without a Beatle wig!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Ha, ha! Evil, like you! ...Evil, like you! I love evil! To destroy is to enjoy!!! Ha, ha, ha!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

No, Perry, stay away from that open window! Jimmy will spank!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Gosh, I don't know how I got this crazy power to eat metal, but those vowels I ate sure taste good! Oh well, I'll bet I never feel this wild urge again!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Don't you want to look like Jimmy Olsen as much as possible?

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

My Buddy, Robin! They blasted him to atoms before my very eyes...

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I'm called Steel-Man and I'm from another world! But I'd like to make your world my new home from now on.

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

History won't give me the recognition I deserve!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I'm wearing special stretchable clothing, so. . . RING CHANGE ME INTO A HUMAN ANT!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Can't you understand English? Clark Kent is Superman!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Holy cats! I've killed Clark! I'm a murderer!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

In my past lives, I was the pal of some of the greatest men who ever lived! And they all died... because of my treachery, cowardice and neglect! If I stick with Superman, I might cause his death too!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

You'll do your explaining to SUPERMAN, my phoney friends! Anybody who acts tough with ME is sure to get what-for from my pal, so ...

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

With this mini-brain, I could pay off the national debt!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Holy cats! Those are all past lives Superman lived on Krypton! But instead of my pal, every one of them is my enemy!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I've travelled to the past and future dozens of times with my pal, Superman! And take it from me, you can't change history...

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Happy Birthday, Mr. Squeeze! We had so many of these rats and roaches we thought we'd share them with you!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Who is this Marco character? I'm doing all the fighting, and he gets all the credit!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

It gave the wearer the powers of the Mayan Gods! When I wore it as Ultra-Olsen, I had Lightning Vision... Anti-Gravity Power... Ultra-Strength... you name it!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I say, form an army of freedom... to liberate all slaves throughout the Empire!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Percy... If you weren't the son of the Daily Planet's biggest stockholder I'd feed you a knuckle sandwich!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

What was it Marty discovered before his life was snuffed out? The plane crash wasn't an accident? Was that what he was about to tell me? I've got to go back and find out what it is!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

You don't understand, Superman! Lucy hasn't been spreading that wave of fear-- you have! You're the carrier!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I don't like being shoved... And I don't believe in mob rule!! Let's see how much stomping you can do from a horizontal position!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I don't know about that, but I do know this whole experience taught me a painful lesson about the power of the press! We journalists touch people's lives-- Often in ways we can't know! We may have a responsibility to the public-- To inform them-- But we have a responsibility to those lives we touch, too!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

One last hope... Must activate my signal-watch... And make like Catfish Hunter... Ah! Right in the strike zone! All I can do now is pray... For Dad... For Superman... And for my very life... Because that very watch is all that stands between me... And God knows what!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Man, making the move over to the Eagle was the best thing I could've done! I was getting nowhere fast at the Planet. But here... It's stardom the easy way!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

I don't know how or why, but someone's playing with my head-- Otherwise I'd never have gone out after my friend's secret identity... Especially not for a crummy news story! Man, if someone wants to find out Superman's alter ego badly enough to go through this elaborate manipulation trip with me, I wanna know why! And the only way to find out-- is to oblige them!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)

Don'tcha recognize your own cub reporter, Justin Moore, chief? I always thought he'd look like Michael Jackson if his curls got wet... But now he looks more like the Swamp Thing!

--James Olsen (Earth-One)