John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)/Quotes

I'll kick them in the bollocks and spit on them when they're down, and then I'll be gone back into the darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'll kick them in the bollocks and spit on them when they're down, and then I'll be gone back into the darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

As they say, truth is stranger than fiction. Rich, on the other hand, is stranger than both.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Nobody died. Except me.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The spirits aren't so different from anyone else. They see what they want to see.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You just about blew up the north of England, you stupid bastards! The missiles! Did you touch them?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

What is it with you people? Do I have some kind of sign on me back, "Walking Sperm Bank - Withdrawals Welcome"? Is that it?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Jesus, this is serious. No wonder I've been hiding from it. Murder, it's got a pulse all its own -- slow, cold electricity. If it comes down to it, Constantine -- do you really think you can do it?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

He's killed him, Chas. The bastard's done my dad. I should've thought. He always goes after families. If he gets me he'll kill Cheryl and the kid. I've got to get ahead of him.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Executioners are always volunteers. They do it because they want to.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

C'mon, Dad, cut this out, eh? I'm sorry, but it's done now. It's over. You're dead and cremated, mate. You're free -- you don't have to stay here anymore. Anyway, why take it out on the girl. If you want to haunt someone, haunt me. Where's your sense of humor, Pop? All sons kill their fathers, don't they say?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Can't do it, can you? You're pre-programmed, mate! So long as I do this, your instincts won't let you touch me! But of course, I'm not a dog... am I? So I can cheat.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Don't try to catch me, Marj. I'll drag you down. Don't trust me. Don't let me taint you. Hah hah! It's a disease, you see. Riddled with it, I am -- caught it from something I dug up as a kid.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's the awful, lonely secret of the dead-boy's heart-- and you must keep it to your grave. But the very worst thing is -- once you know it -- you're a Bogeyman too.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You need a broader experience to understand what makes people who they are -- how the patterns of the past inform the future.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Strewth, Chap -- Looks like you need a steak' for that shiner.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Yes, it's the truth. Incontrovertible -- you know it is. You killed him, murdered him in your dead mother's womb. You killed the Golden Boy, the Magus -- Killed the best part of yourself. You're as guilty as original sin. Condemned and hanged for it -- over and over again.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I think I'm going round the twist. For a second there I almost had meself believing 'em. This bloody place must be getting to me. It's so real, it's unreal.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I've had enough of this, Marston. Either you tell me what you want me for right now, or I send you straight to Hell. What's it to be?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It'll be bloody lethal if we screw it up. We'll end up with our bollocks ripped off. Make no mistake about it.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You're talking about putting the thing that used to be Jack the Ripper in charge of us? The bastard eats people, you headcase!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This place -- they're desecrating the bodies and it's buggering up the souls. They can't get into the Afterlife. They're stuck.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

And now she's got a bun in the oven, eh? Don't they have rubbers in Heaven?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Shit...! Forgot to give him the finger.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I can hear the old days calling... Some of the shit I got off with last year, it's like '83 all over again. Out of the shadows and "all right, squire? Trust me." And gone before you know it. Christ, that was a laugh... So I remind myself it wasn't, it was dead mates and lost souls and cold nights with the bottle while the ghosts howeld round the door... and now it's different anyway. Kit... And saying her name makes me more determined. And I almost believe my own bullshit.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Nice one, Schwarzenegger. Been giving it a bit extra on the five-knuckle shuffle, have we?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Stop... bloody... 'membrin'...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

And I drink. It tastes of evil, hatred, spite, cruelty, sadism. It tastes of screwing the other bastard good and proper... It tastes of winning... And I drain it to the last frigging drop.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You never gave up. You knew the precious thing you had, and you scraped and clawed and fought to the last drop of blood for life-- And I think I owe you something, mate.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

There aren't any good guys, and there aren't any bad guys. There's just us. People. Doing our best to get by.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Madness is the only constant.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You'd better stay here, Danny... 'Cos if you try to get out of this house tonight, I'll kill you.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

C'mon then, you maggoty piece of Hell meat! Eat me! I'll bloody choke you!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Guilt is the province of the living!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

When it comes to arrogant parasites, I've got a short fuse. So look out, suckers, here comes the revolution!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm the one who steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and cigarette and arrogance, ready to deal with the madness. Oh, I've got it all sewn up. I can save you. If it takes the last drop of your blood, I'll drive your demons away. I'll kick them in the bollocks and spit on them when they're down, and then I'll be gone back into the darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone... who would want to walk with me?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Oh I see. There's some twat sitting somewhere with a pair of scales is there? Measuring good and evil in ounces? That's your problem mate. The whole bloody lot of you just wander about like a pack of wankers, seeing everything in black and white.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The most dangerous moment of the most dangerous game I've ever played. If they fall for this bit, it'll all be plain sailing.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I pinned all my hopes on Brendan, and I'm sure he did the same thing with me and what a waste of time it all turned out as. And thank Christ we did it, because I'm pissed and happy and I'm with my mate. Thank bloody Christ.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Can you see me now, all you friends I've lost and betrayed? Do you wish me well, then, or are you praying I'll be with you soon? Will you relish every scream when my blood starts hitting the floor, or will you turn away, afraid to look, the moment you've been waiting for too awful to look at, even for my sins? Sit back and enjoy the show.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

John Constantine, you have been found guilty of first degree cold hearted bastardy. Of being a twisted, evil frigger who sneaks and creeps his way out of trouble that those less privileged have no defense against.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This is where we started it and this is where it'll finish. This is the killing ground where I take my revenge -- just as soon as I work out exactly how.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Christ, what a bloody awful mess!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Les, did I do something awful today? Y'know, like push a cripple down a flight of stairs 'er poison some poor dog?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

A clock that can forecast the future. What a load a bollocks. I mean, no matter what you do, it's the same for everyone. Ya get a dreary job, ya fall in love, ya have some kids, ya fall out a love, ya lose ya hair, ya get soft... it's ****ing depressing, so I'll have none of it!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Disaster's snapping at my heels and it's time that I was somewhere far away. It's all up to me again, ennit? Somehow, I've got to stay ahead and get some news aces up my sleeve. But right now, all I really need's a smoke.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Heroic bloody Captain goes down with his ship, eh? You selfish, spineless git! What right have you got to just down tools and quit?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I shouldn't go looking for trouble anymore. I should... fall in love with a beautiful Irish woman and work tirelessly to get her into bed... heh...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's not easy with Kit. I can't just ask her out, 'cause she makes me feel like some spotty bastard teenager. I need her to know for certain, right before the very first kiss... And I'm being followed by a ghost, which doesn't exactly help matters.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The rest of them might be content to spend their time fighting the Crimson Dongbiter or whoever, but I wanted to do something worthwhile.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Look, the Sandman's a fairy story you tell kids to get them off to sleep. Sprinkles magic dust in your eyes and brings you... sweet dreams. I'm trying to save the world, Mad Hettie, and you want to tell me fairy stories!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I mean, I'm going to be forty in a couple of years. I can't go on pissing about with magic and stuff forever. Might be time I wised up a bit...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The Tate Club told me to go !@#$ myself. Why should I stick my neck out for that bunch of self-important tossers?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

We have to turn inwards. Enter the siege perilous-- and wrestle. It's not those grotesque, tired institutions of Heaven and Hell that are the problem-- it's the devils we know.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Jesus, we're all bloody doomed, aren't we? The entire species is flying off to Hell for its holidays. Somebody stop the world. I'm scared and I want to get off.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Anyone who'd launch something like this against a train-load of people has got to be a bad guy.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Can't help it. I always lie to policemen -- it's the way I was brought up. Not that I did much talking -- all I had to do was keep oiling the machinery, and it all came pouring out.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm an occultist -- I like to know what's going on behind the scenes. Bad things've been happening to people I like. I think it's going to get worse and I want to do something about it.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Then, like the breaking of a dream, I hear the word again -- howled with the raging breath of fear in the madness on the train. Jallakuntilliokan.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's serious magic, Errol. The sort that changes things -- permanently.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

All these writers putting you into their books have blurred the edges more. Now more people think you're a work of fiction than know you as a man.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Someone just walked over my grave.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Hmm. I don't know if I'll get the hang of this survivalist business. I mean, what about washing -- and where's the toilet?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Feel it. That unmistakable thrill of excitement, crackling from groin to pineal gland -- signalling that here is danger, here are dark doings. Ignore it, John. You don't do that kind of shit anymore. You're starting to fit in here -- and it could do you some good. Don't blow it for the sake of a bad day.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I wonder where I got the idea that it was peaceful in the countryside. It's a bloody war-zone. Slowly but surely, everything's slipping into bad craziness again.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Something here is adding up to a bloody funny number.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You killed them and you owe them something in return. Their flesh for your name, you bastard! Tell them your name!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You're a runaway, ain'tcher?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This is something really nasty.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's good to know we have all learned something from life's journey... most of us, anyway.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Here's to the new age, mate... The Age of Magic.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

How did you find me?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

First rule of magic, son: you rectify your mistakes right after you make them.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Better call me Constantine then.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Marj was one of these organic garden back-to-nature types, and I've always been a great believer in just bunging something in the microwave.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

These are troubled times, and in troubled times it's everybody's duty to keep faith with themselves -- ennit?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Funny old day, really.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm in Hell.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

That's what happens when you let your guard down, Johnny Boy...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

First of the day always tastes the best.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I need to take better care of me mates.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I felt so bloody useless...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You tell him no matter how bad or sad it gets, how much it falls to bits on me, how many holes there are in me worthless soddin' life-- I'll never plug 'em with this bollocks.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

In my dream I don't just reach out to her, I tell her I love her as well.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Don't let them call the kid Queenie-- right?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Me crystal ball says this is gonna be a round trip... all around.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm not sure what I am seeing anymore, mate.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's him that's doin' it.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This is where the Serpent lives.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You really owe me now, mate. I made you look pretty fuckin' sharp.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

But there's one dark memory even the beer can't cloud over-- I think about a little girl I damned one night in Newcastle. I try to remember the last time I felt comfortable around a child...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Christ Almighty! You mean this poor sod is Robin Hood?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

See, I'm putting my essence into hiding now... and bringing my demon to the fore.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Thanks, mate. Whoever you are.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This is true spirit of the beast... and it's magnificent-- beautiful.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Your soul dies if you stop dreaming.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Time to stop dancing around now, Angel. Let's get down to it.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

No doubt Jack and his universal brotherhood of vegetables will be very wary of me after this little episode.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

There are only two choices left, aren't there? Reconciliation, or damnation.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This is my place of thunder.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'd say Keith's been waiting far too long to find the tosser responsible for his father's suicide...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I just want to know what happened.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

See, it's the same old story for me. I love her-- just as Jack did. Yet I have no choice but to walk away.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's always best to make a godd show of it for the toffs.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Congratulations, Wilf. It's a werewolf.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

We need to talk... your majesty.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

What have you done to my box?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Sometimes, I look in your eyes and I swear I've never seen anyone so sad like you, John.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

If you ask me, there was something nasty in the water on the day the Almighty created this perverted universe.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Maybe it's just me and my natural aversion of suburban Hell.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Still, I can't help but wonder "Why me?"

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

D'you know what this is? It's our tenth bloody anniversary.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It always ends in a flash, but that's never the beginning.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Look... I'll sort it out. I always do. I promise.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Stop me if you've heard this one, mind: "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

To be honest, I didn't think there was anything did scare y--

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's just about the stupidest, fuckin' irresponsible thing I ever did, mate.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

That's the day I answer for it all.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Gettin' pretty fuckin' lippy in your old age, aren't you?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Isabel Bracknell in the Brixton afternoon.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

London's got a different geography, for me.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

London's built on ghosts.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

My name's John Constantine. I'm not the nicest bloke you've ever met. But I do me best.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Never fucking call me again.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Magic. You know all about magic, don't you?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

In the end, all you've got is a memory and an old love song.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I am John Constantine, you twat.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I've missed so many funerals in my life (a good training for missing my own) --

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

What? No Silk Cuts?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You wanna what I usedta think was worse than dying? Spending my life in prison.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I am a bastard. The worst you'd ever want to meet.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

...we both liked being on top.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I miss London.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I did'n murder your brother.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Hello Rose. Y'know, every once in a while I feel a little pain... right about where ya stuck me with that pin.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Seriously. A snap a'me fingers... an'you're in a world of hurt.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Was over her, the day I met you, Dickie.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's too late for any magic, Richie.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

A warning, Turro. Don't pretend to know me.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You ever see a corpse before, Pete?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

... there is no Iceman.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

-- myths -- legends, they do us well.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

S'funny, ya snuff yourself, they call you a victim of suicide. The real victims are the living--

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I hated myself for more years than I care to remember.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Me death was a nasty little trick put over on you.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Hate is a strong emotion, in'it?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I am dead. I'm just doomed to walk the Earth for a bit, that's all.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Because Gladys called me by a name she shouldn't have known. Which means she wasn't there by accident.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I come two hundred miles to see the bugger, and he's dead and buried.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

If you've touched her, you psychopath, I'll break you in pieces.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You're a bloody hostage! You stay alive as long as I play ball.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I mean, this thing has been blessed by Kali.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Whoever put you and Gary Lester on to me, tell them I've got a letterbox like every other bastard.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Tell his majesty I'll be in touch.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

When the gate closed, everything that belonged on the other side should have gone back there.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I raised the stakes. You would never bet everything unless you were certain you would win.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Angie-- I got what I needed. The whole story.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Tomorrow's the end of the world.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This thing... followed us out of Eden. It was the Beast never named by Adam.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

We're going to hit it with London.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This thing is camped out in the... Collective Unconscious. In touch with every human mind. Except mine.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Nobody ever died because I wasn't trying! If you could say the same, you'd be happily dead by now.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Time to wake up, John. Time to get moving.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

There's nothing you can't give me that I want!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm not a demon!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's been a while, isn't it?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The bracelet's a ward, okay? A protection spell. But the stone is pure bloody evil.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

So someone's taking out the London boys.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

That's my sister lying down there, string the last judgment full in the face. So this time I'm going to Hell.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Which of these botched abortions killed my sister Cheryl?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm at the end of my rope.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This is an addiction.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's coming on to rain, with perfect timing. The first drops running down my face so that from a distance you could mistake them for tears.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Ah, fags. Lone consolation of the fucking miserable.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Empathy.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

So what are the chances... of bumping into Anita Nelson?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Evans is the trap.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Down these lonely roads a man must go alone.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I don't have to do a fucking thing I don't want to.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The whole apocalyptic thing feels pretty comfortable to me. Suits my personality.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The key's in the history. His identity is in the story.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I forgot... I forgot how happy hating people can make you. Winning a fight, humiliating an enemy. Making a difference. I feel... hope.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's time to get back in the game...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Unfinished business.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

It's been waiting for me. All these years.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

...d'you know what an invocation is?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Best revenge is to live well, and shit like that.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm going to have to kill you Mister Death.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Just another pointless little death.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Who am I? I'm your fucking nightmare, son.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

By the time the carpet actually catches fire, it's already told me everything I know.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

--and I don't believe in coincidence. Just synchronicity.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I do what must be done. For London.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Do you see him, up there? The leader of the opposition? That's you, Tim. You as you are now.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I don't believe in destiny, I don't have some predetermined role to play in the universe, and believe you me, I am most definitely not the second coming of whoever-the-fuck.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

First rule of the con: when you're stuck in the middle, play both sides against each other.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The suspense is fucking killing me.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Nice ceiling. Who's your decorator?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I reckon that's enough moving in mysterious ways for one night. I'm off to catch forty winks.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

We were shite, kid. We were bloody awful. Bu then, again, no worse than a lot of others back then.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Well, you know it's all gone down. Just didn't want to see you go the same way, mate.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Every time I try and reassert some control over my life, you've been there to drag me down again!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I go away for a few days and what, you turn into fuckin' Miss Marple?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Happy new year everybody! Happy new fucking year!

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I got demon blood in my veins. I break hearts and destroy lives and poison anything good that touches me.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You don't tell her your life's already a nightmare.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You, me... it was never going to work, was it? Different people, different worlds.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You can rot here for eternity.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Julian knows all of my kind of magic. Epiphany's alchemy.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Epiphany don't do this.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

And she gives me this look. This look that says, your life is in my hands, buster. And don't you forget it.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Nobody fucks with John Constantine.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Coubld Phoebe already be reborn?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I've been dead a few times, mate.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Personally? I think Epiphany and I are probably seriously bad for each other's health.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Finally... and most important... I leave Phoebe. Leaver her to whatever spirit journey she's on.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Why is Shade so screwed up?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Kathy George. The kind of girl who could make a man do stupid things.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I admit it. There are times when I really enjoy my work.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Jesus. Where have you been all my life?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm still dizzy for proposing to Epiphany.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I love her. I loved you, too... but I love her differently. More.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Sorry chaps. My nonalignment policy is fanatical. An absolute line in the sand.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Concentrate, John, they're turning you into a bit part in E.R., here.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Look out, Heaven, look out, Hell. Johnny Constantine's back on the beat.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Fucking Nergal.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Third one's the charm, babes. Trust me.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You thought you could control me with drugs? Do you know who I am? I'm John fucking Constantine. And you two are fucked.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Look how pale you are. Did you get a visit from a vampire?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

There are times when you don't want to ring the doorbell. You just get a feeling. You want the element of surprise. The unguarded moment.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

He calls taking on America's foremost crime organization a little favour.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Tell me what I'm supposed to have done.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

What did he do to you?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Of course, that doesn't mean that Belmarsh still ain't a frightning place. Even for some like me. Like John Constantine. Prisoner B8076AG.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

The demons, the spells, the bad luck magic. All those dark and terrible crimes against nature. How can it not have left a mark on the coat?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You said yourself, why should not having that coat affect me like this?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I can't be sure, but I think that the trench coat acts like a kind of... lightning rod. Without it... or without its aura... I'm vulnerable to any stray bolts of unstable magic.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Best bloody coat I've ever had.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Even back then, before I had any demon in my blood, it wasn't safe to be a friend of John Constantine...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

This is what's so nice about being stuck in Hell. Meeting old friends.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Dark magic to fight a dark twin.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Epiphany vouched you her father's soul. How did you make her do' that?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Like I told him, werewolves weren't really my thing.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

He's a Constantine. How close do you think I was to being a lunatic murderer?

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I'm going to find him for you, Cheryl. My nephew. The missing Constantine.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I thought it was time for a family reunion.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Bollocks. A Constantine with brains.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I told her what decent bloke he was. A doctor, a family man.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

I don't have the heart to tell my beautiful, young wife. The truth is I've run out of one-liners.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Self-deceiving, stupid, pitiful, bloody fool. To think you can cheat your fate so easily. To think it can be that painless. It can never be painless. But from now on... no one else gets hurt because of me. No one.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You're all looking for something to blame when you should be looking out of the window.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

You probably feel like you're on some kind of bad trip. I remember the first time it happened to me...

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)

Football, for example, is far more enjoyable when shown in the comfort of the living room-- preferably someone else's.

--John Constantine (Vertigo Universe)