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This page contains a listing of notable quotes by Joker (DCAU).

Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.

(This template will categorize articles that include it into Category:Quotes.)

Quote1.png Without Batman, crime has no punchline. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png I'm crazy enough to take on Batman, but the I.R.S.? No, thank you! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png When the going gets tough...the tough go shopping. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png You killed Captain Clown! You killed Captain Clown! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png I am the greatest clown this dismal burg has ever seen! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Jumpin' Jiminy Christmas! It's an homage to me! I'm kind of sorry I have to blow it up. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png What? Compare me to Batman?! I've got more style, more brains, I'm certainly a better dresser! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png You're right, Harley. Fish are disgusting. I think I'll start using my toxin on cattle. Joker Burgers! Ha! Talk about a happy meal! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Is it just me or is there something going on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honking mace? Will true love conquer all? Not on my show! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Wake up, Little Red! You're out of threats. You snuff that Robin, he'll just get another. Probably buys them by the dozen. Heck, if you're any indication, at bargain rates. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Harleeeey! Harleeeey! Come out, come out! Daddy can't kill you if daddy can't find you... Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Sheesh... ears that big and you still don't listen. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png I do terrible, crazy things, and then you act all grim and gritty and stop me. And I go back to Arkham and you go back to... well, whatever it is you do when I'm not around. Brooding all by yourself in the dark, I suppose. That's just how we are. Or how we've grown to be. And it's never going to change. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png The nerve! Filling youngsters' heads with vicious lies... impugning my good name... misrepresenting me to America's youth! Well, we'll just see about this! I'm going to set the record straight and I won't rest till the job is done! Because this time... I'm doing it for the children! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Four more loony lawmakers and we'll be ready for a Christmas show they'll never forget. And I owe it all to you... Herr Doktor. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Now here's that little secret I was talking about. There is no law and order in Gotham City. Only chaos. Random... destructive... chaos!' Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Oh, no. Your old eyes do not deceive you, Brucie! After all, who'd know me better than you? Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Hasn't it ever occurred to you, Harv? Is Brucie really paying to have you cured... or just to be kept locked away someplace safe while he and Grace... y'know, wink-wink, nudge-nudge? Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Oh, that really burns my bagels. The Riddler?!?! Is he kidding with that? Nobody is cleverer than me!! Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

Quote1.png Just imagine -- above us, thousands of deluded losers are welcoming a new year they hope won't be as dreadful as last year. Quote2.png

--Joker (DCAU)

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