Joker (Earth-One)/Quotes

This page contains a listing of notable quotes by Joker (Earth-One).

Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.

(This template will categorize articles that include it into Category:Quotes.)

The Joker must have the Batman! Nay, the Joker deserves the Batman! What fun would there be in humbling mere policemen? I am the Greatest Criminal ever known! HA HA HA HA! And for anyone else to destroy the Batman would be unworthy of me!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Look, things are pretty bizarre around here these days, so if you haven't been paying attention to the previous six issues... shame on you! Hee Hee!

--Joker (Earth-One)

You're always a party-poop -- just when I'm beginning to have fun!

--Joker (Earth-One)

See that door? Beyond it lie the bodies of the Justice Leaguers I've killed! They're clinically dead -- No pulse, no breathing! And yet, as long as the brain waves aren't flat, technically they're still alive!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Much as I hate to admit it, the Batman has taught me a few tricks... such as be prepared! Or was that the Boy Scouts?

--Joker (Earth-One)

The Joker beats any card in the deck!

--Joker (Earth-One)

OWOOO! Desist, you maniac! You're crazier than the Mad Hatter!

--Joker (Earth-One)

The prettiest blossom at the flower show is the Joker! Ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Ah-- The Batman! What an expected surprise! And what a waste of a perfectly good window! Couldn't you have used the door?

--Joker (Earth-One)

His life is mine... I can crush the breath out of him... effortlessly! I can, at last, triumph! But such a hollow victory--! It was mere luck that caused my attack on him to succeed. I'd always envisioned my winning as a result of cunning... at the end of a bitter struggle between the Batman and myself-- him using his detective skills and me employing the divine gift men call madness!... No! Without the game that the Batman and I have played for so many years, winning is nothing! He shall live... until I can destroy him properly!

--Joker (Earth-One)

The Joker must have the Batman! Nay, the Joker deserves the Batman! What fun would there be in humbling mere policemen? I am the Greatest Criminal ever known! HA HA HA HA! And for anyone else to destroy the Batman would be unworthy of me!

--Joker (Earth-One)

The Batman! So smug-- so sure of himself! Bah! It's time someone announced to the world that he's overrated! And I'm the one to do it!

--Joker (Earth-One)

At last, I've uncovered the great secret of Batman's identity...

--Joker (Earth-One)

I wanted you here — so I could prove to Clayface that even without his power, I still could duplicate his feats and outsmart you, whereas he couldn't continue as the Joker when he tried to mimic me!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Batman-- will you kindly stop harassing me?

--Joker (Earth-One)

And as I lammed to my Ha-Hacienda, I figured the evening well-spent... even though it had its negative aspects... for one thing, missing that crack at the Batman... with a useless weapon... when I'd had an arsenal of alternatives at my disposal! A sad commentary on how rusty a person can get... living in a padded cell! Moreover, I hadn't copped the loot -- which meant I'd have to make another trip the next night... but on the positive side -- I'd learned some things about the Batman's rhythms and responses I hadn't been aware of -- which would add spice and excitement to our next meeting... when my coming caper burst into bloom! In fact, when I contemplated how long I'd have to wait for that next meeting, I was depressed -- but fortunately, I don't depress easily!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Cleverness is a highly overrated virtue, detective! Cleverness can make you dead!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Hold them off, my valiant cretins-- and don't forget the kind of punishment I'll deal to any man who lets himself die!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Murder is hardly something I shy away from, Bats. But I've never really wanted to kill you. If memory serves, I've had the chance several times... I've even passed the opportunity to unmask you. Where's the fun in that-- ?

--Joker (Earth-One)

Drat! If Papetto weren't already dead-- I'd kill him for this!

--Joker (Earth-One)

I can see the "evening news update" now: "Beefcake saves fruitcake-- Film at eleven!" Now what, muscleboy? We teach Ozzie a lesson about honor among thieves-?

--Joker (Earth-One)

Somebody plucked the little bird's feathers... but it wasn't me! Don't look so skeptical, cape kiddo! Have I ever lied to you-- oops, heh heh, let me put that another way... Have I ever denied credit for my acts of criminal brilliance? Where's the glory in that, I ask you? Admit it, Bats-- you know that if I'd killed him, I'd gladly own up! Why, I'd be giving interviews!

--Joker (Earth-One)

Superman! You've got your nerve... Eavesdropping on a man's private mutterings! Don't you know a madman's cell is his castle?

--Joker (Earth-One)