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Don't you see, buddy-old-pal? You said I needed a friend. You were so good to offer yourself up.
Because at the end of the day what people are afraid of is the nothing of it, Bruce. The randomness. The empty center. Stare into it and try to find meaning. You'll go mad. All you can do is fear, and survive. It's the truth. That's what this gang is--you see, Bruce? I came up with the idea for it in the wake of your parents' death. In that wonderful moment--that true moment, right after. See? We wear the red hood to court the wolf, rather than hide. Eat us, we say. Eat us all.
A lion doesn't pass judgement on a gazelle. Cancer doesn't pass judgement on a brain. I've been saying this all along. Evil doesn't exist. There are only actions. We got to the same place--the top of the food chain--just on different paths. Mine was more fun.
Nobody has faith in anything anymore. And why should they? It didn't stop a few clowns from flying a Batplane through their window.
Well, that hurts. If you truly look, Batgirl... you'll see I'm the only man in the world capable of showing love.
Anyhow, She-Bat... you just might get naughty and try to do the old midnight divorce on me, right? So I decided to help myself to your arms and legs, Sweety-Boo. Call it the best pre-nup ever.
A lion doesn't pass judgement on a gazelle. Cancer doesn't pass judgement on a brain. I've been saying this all along. Evil doesn't exist. There are only actions. We got to the same place--the top of the food chain--just on different paths. Mine was more fun.
Trauma is a weapon. One bad day can twist a person into an unspeakable monster, I know that better than anyone.
You think you have a contingency plan for everything, huh?
Do to him? Well... you could marry him. But of course, he'd start lying around too much, eating pizza, watching tv, all that snuggling at night. He'd become a soft blob.
See, that's the thing, it's always business with us, lately. Business, business, business. So this time, I took care of all that early, so we can relax and have ourselves a nice chat. Face to face... to face (hee-hee).
Sit down, and you'll find out. Fight your destiny... you'll never find a single trace of any of them, ever. You'll grow old wondering what happened to them. What I did to each one... Now SIT YOUR #%^ DOWN!''
Because we have an understanding. I'll bet you've said it to them these past few days, haven't you? "You don't understand him." Sure you have, because the ugly truth of it is, Batsss *sigh* is that you love me more than them.
I taught him how not to feel sorry. How not to get caught up in feelings. I taught him that with guilt comes weakness.
Hello, Bruce.
And the Lord said unto John: "Come forth and you shall have eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Please. Kneel with me, Batman. Pray with me, Batman. Do it. Or I'll blow my damn head off.
Oh, Batman. This part of the plan, it wasn't about breaking you. That's what comes next. I've got a whole war planned for you. This was about breaking her, while I get everything I need to break you.
Killing you is easy. It won't hurt you enough. But making everyone in Gotham City relive your childhood trauma? Now that's what I call fun! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It's time for the Bat King to destroy all the vampires in his life. You've sucked the marrow from his broken bones long enough.
We do what we always do. We make a better Joker.
Upset? I'm going to the wedding of the year! It'll be me, the bride, the groom, all of us so happy! Oh I'm so happy! And when I'm happy... I kill people.
This is a mystery that stretches back to the dawn of time. It's bigger than all of us. And it sure as hell is bigger than you. You don't understand. All that was just a cruel joke. You're just another couple of pieces in Batman's puzzle. Just like me.
C'mon, grumpity dumpty... there's still so much to do before a crisis of craziness crashes the party!
Heh, heh. Harvey may have been an early draft... but looks like I've now got myself a new recruit.
This is a violation of my civil rights! A man should be able to slaughter in peace!
Dr. Manhattan? Who's that? I could use a good dentist. It hurts when I smile.
So, my tender little morselette... How are things?
I have something for you...in my pants.
And yet here you are...alone and strapped to a table like a lab experiment. The place is for lost souls, not rehabilitation. No one leaves here, no one gets "cured," no one passes Go and collects their $200. We are here to be tucked away from society till the day we die or kill each other. To rot with the other trash and forgotten souls that inhabit this godforsaken place.
You came to me and told me you wanted art. Well this was going to be my masterpiece. Made just for you. That was my plan... my perfect, beautiful plan. And it's nothing compared to what The Batman Who Laughs is going to do to you.
Hatter, is that an analogy I've used before? I hate repeating myself.
You know, this last year's been a real snooze to watch, Bat-Fake. I mean, you coming back here, desperate to prove yourself... being all serious... Yawn!
The invitation did say it was a surprise party. And what kind of host would I be... if I didn't have a little something extra for the worst of the bat-fakes? The one that makes my Batman the weakest.
Where can I find the little night birdie? Heh heh.'
What happened to your sense of humor, Son? You and I - we were quite a team in our day, weren't we? I'd write the material. You'd read your lines. But you had to go and improvise the big finale, didn't you?
Yes, but is there something on your face, Harley? There it is. Here, let me get it off. *WHACK* Got it! I think it was a small touch of hubris. But it's gone now.
Because once I didn't care about the rules anymore, I had all the power. We all have it inside of us. We just got to let it out. And I can show you how...
You're a villain, remember? Time to nasty up and act like one.
How best to hurt you? By making your pimple patrol the very cause of your agita.
The only way you'll beat him... is to become him. Heh.
Get a load of you! Did someone order duck soup?
You get to fulfill the ultimate sidekick fantasy!
Smash that subscribe button, Lincoln!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!. Now that's funny!
And if you die, make sure you kill him first.
I want you men to put the word out. I'm hiring. I need everyone we can get.
No matter what I'm going through, she will always be a comfort. She is my home away from home.
... a few weeks ago somebody gassed Arkham Asylum, and blew up the place up. But you see... that's the darnedst thing, Jim. I didn't. Someone just wanted everyone to think I did.
Who will keep your kids safe from people like me?!
Oh, absolutely. I think I'm $%@#%$@ great.
What kind of sick mind pretends to be someone he's not?
Oh me, oh my! The things people just throw away these days!
The other one is fake. You'll see. You'll all see.
What is a Batman without a Joker?
So, if you're one of those people who can't stand the anticipation and needs everything to wrap up nicely, allow me to explain what just happened and what this whole thing was really about...
I'm so scared about what we're going to do.
You've only shown him to me twice before...
The Joker. Superman's pal.
The Grand Prize. You won, my boy. Go on. Take it.
You know, my new friend, Punchline... she might just be the funniest gal I've ever met in my life. She knows this trick with a rusty saw that really puts the boys in stitches. If they survive of course.
All items (69)
- Batgirl Vol 4 14
- Batgirl Vol 4 16
- Batman Vol 2 13
- Batman Vol 2 14
- Batman Vol 2 16
- Batman Vol 2 17
- Batman Vol 2 23.1: The Joker
- Batman Vol 2 37
- Batman Vol 3 28
- Batman Vol 3 48
- Batman Vol 3 67
- Batman Vol 3 93
- Batman Vol 3 97
- Batman Vol 3 100
- Batman Vol 3 142
- Batman Vol 3 145
- Batman and Robin Vol 2 16
- Batman Incorporated Vol 3 8
- Batman Secret Files Vol 1 2
- The Batman Who Laughs Vol 2 1
- Batman/The Shadow Vol 1 3
- Batman: The Brave and the Bold Vol 2 2
- Batman: The Joker War Zone Vol 1 1
- Batman: Three Jokers Vol 1 1
- The Joker Vol 2 3
- The Joker Vol 2 5
- The Joker Vol 2 9
- Joker (Prime Earth)
- The Joker/Daffy Duck Special Vol 1 1
- The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing Vol 1 1
- The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing Vol 1 2
- The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing Vol 1 3
- The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing Vol 1 4
- The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing Vol 1 8
- The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing Vol 1 10
- The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing Vol 1 12
- Joker: The World
- The Joker: Year of the Villain Vol 1 1
- Justice League Vol 4 13