Lobo (New Earth)/Quotes

I killed every living thing on Czarnia fer fun. I killed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny an' things that don't even exist, an' so help me, I tried ta follow th' triple-fold path o' peace. I tried my best... but frag me for a bastich, even I got limits!

--Lobo (New Earth)

If ya can be sure o' killin' 'em, always let th' bad guys have first shot. It sure gets th' old adrenaline pumpin' -- also, it keeps me in good with th' comic code authorities!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I swear them buns get sweeter, Darl!

--Lobo (New Earth)

'

--Lobo (New Earth)

A lotta guys use an agency like Bunsen's when they're lookin' fer work. An agency has certain advantages -- Camaraderie - good drinkin' buddies - th' whole male bondin' bull shtick!

--Lobo (New Earth)

'

--Lobo (New Earth)

Hey, buzz off, you fraggin' Daxamite! This meat is mine!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I've had it with you League morons sticking' your noses where they don't belong! Sorry about this, Gold--but I'm gonna have t'make an example outta you! Ah who am I Kiddin'? I'm Not sorry. Not one little--BIIIIIPEE!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Okay, okay! So he's got ambition! Whattaya trying to do, give me an inferiority complex?

--Lobo (New Earth)

What a rush! I ain't had so much fun since I stitched my gandad's eyes shut and sent him walkin' through traffic!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Kill! Rend! Destroy! Slaughter! Disembowel! An when ya've done that, frag the bastards!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Gerroff, ya geekoids! Me an' this judicial butt-hole are gonna discuss his sentencin' policies!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Don't go bleedin' ta death on me yet, guys -- I still owe yez a little haute coiffure!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya wanna come out of this organus intactus, quit now! 'Cos lemme tell ya -- th' main man's hot ta trot an' game ta maim!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Don't count yer chickens, ya lowdown conivin' bastich! The main man is back -- an' he's ready ta rumble!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ain't scripts th' creeps here buy, Clyde. It's souls!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Main man, my ass.

--Lobo (New Earth)

Well, hey there. Got milk?

--Lobo (New Earth)

You are so dead. So dead. So dead.

--Lobo (New Earth)

Oh man, I knew I wuz gonna have fun t'day! Just fraggin' knew it!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I'm ta meet her at th' restaurant on Doofer Street. Prob'ly some babe heard o' my prowess, wants t'take me on fer matters other than bounty huntin'!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Yer knight in shinin' armor, babe! Saved yer life, Darl. Now if that ain't worth a little hanky-panky --!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I tell ya, when I find out who kidnapped Darlene an' suckered me inta this, blood is gonna flow like hooch at an alkie's party!

--Lobo (New Earth)

s no good! I'm just too tough ta kill by ordinary means! There's gotta be another' way!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Man, we oughta be in a circus! 'Cept if we wuz, I'd have ta burn it down fer exploitin' us!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Beat it, ya chump! I'm bein' paid t' trail guide, not be fraggin' pleasant!

--Lobo (New Earth)

There are basically two types of girls... Those who say "yes," and those who say "no." Common sense dictates ya dump th' latter an' concentrate on th' former. Trouble is, th' ones who say "no" are usually th' ones ya want t' say "yes"!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ha! I don't give a monkey's hump how I got here! This is what I wuz born an' bred fer -- th' heat o' battle! Th' taste o' blood! Th' screams o' the' dyin' an' wounded!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I don't give a flyin' fish fart about no dopey revenge quest, cheezhead! I'm outta here!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Yer a harbinger o' doom, Badlucky -- so frag off an' harbinge fer some other chump!

--Lobo (New Earth)

No babe gives th' Main Man th' chump-dump -- 'specially not one I've broke my golden rule fer, an' fell in fraggin' love with! She's comin' home with me, or th' Moon's a balloon an' my middle name ain't sex-meister!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I'll give ya my weapons awright, ya jumped-up fraggin' traffic light! BULLETS FIRST!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Bounty huntin's maybe a risky job, Jonas -- but I swear it don't touch on bein' a restaurateur!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Callin' all heroic simps! Yer pals is croaked! WHO'S FRAGGIN' NEXT?!

--Lobo (New Earth)

YeHAAA, yabastiches! yagotth'MainManonafreniedfraggin'SPEEDBINGE!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya brung this on yerselves, babes! Me, I consider it a tragic fraggin' waste! I ain't been in a foursome since I dated Triplicate Girl.

--Lobo (New Earth)

Lissen up, ya feeb! When th' Main Man kills somebody, they stay dead! I dunno what th' big difference is with you, puke-head, but don't worry -- I'll soon sort things out!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Why do I get th' feelin' I wuz havin' more fun dead than I do alive? Never mind -- I'll soon rectify th' situation!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Awright, wool-fer-brains! Change back inta yer true self afore I reduce ya ta mutton!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya got exactly five seconds ta explain whut's goin' on here, release me, an' placate me with valuable gifts... or I stomp all over ya! Whaddya say t' that, huh, ya little shrimps?

--Lobo (New Earth)

I'm a hero on a mission! I have no time for gratuitous sex!

--Lobo (New Earth)

School's in, y' bushwhackin' dweeb-monkeys. T'day's lesson... payback's a bitch!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Pucker up, ya big-eared, yellow-bellied bastich! The Main Man's a-comin' -- an' he ain't takin' prisoners!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Gotta say, I been feelin' strangely dissatisfied with Big-Ears' barbeque. Like, there shoulda been more. True evil deserves a better end!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I'm tough, too-- The difference...*hic*... is that I don't give up! I'll keep at 'im 'til...*hic*...he's dead! Heads up--It's dyin' time...*hic*! I feel his presence...*hic*...around here somewhere...

--Lobo (New Earth)

You got a soft spot, geek. No way ya can be the bad-ass ya wanna be-- with a soft spot.

--Lobo (New Earth)

Nobody hits th' Main Man with impunity -- not even when I deserve it!

--Lobo (New Earth)

But forewarned is Fore-Fraggin'-Armed, right?

--Lobo (New Earth)

Nothin' like two pounds o' plasteek fer bringin' matters to a head! Hyuk! Hyuk!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I got one whole heap o' pent-up anger an' frustrated rage just a-beggin' fer a few friendly faces to frag!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I ain't no Superbo! I ain't no fraggin' hero! I'm th' Main Man! I booze! I womanize! I swear! An' I beat th' livin' crap outta anybody I fraggin' feel like!

--Lobo (New Earth)

That's what I like about yer countrymen, Etrigan -- they're always ready fer a fight!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Y'know, I sometimes wonder what happened t' th' universe. Like, how'd everythin' get so goody-fraggin'-goody?

--Lobo (New Earth)

Feetal's Gizz , Good Buddies! I just love a happy fraggin' endin'!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Spare me th' bull, Dox! Obviously, yer workin' t' some secret agenda. Well, 's no skin off th' Main Man's snoot! But don't even think about double-crossin' me!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Goodness of thought? Us? Man, you need a brain change! We're th' baddest bastiches this side o' Purgatory!

--Lobo (New Earth)

What'd I tell ya? Easy as slittin' yer granny's throat!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Y'know, 'Bo, this is gonna feel real weird! Ain't many guys get ta kill themselves an' still stay alive ta boast about it! 's gonna be a gas!

--Lobo (New Earth)

What's wrong? Cat got yer tongue? Cat got yer whole Fraggin' FACE, in fact!?

--Lobo (New Earth)

I can speak 17,897 galactic languages an' I got no idea what yer talkin' about!

--Lobo (New Earth)

What's the matter? Ya never seen an archbishop regenerate himself from his own blood before?

--Lobo (New Earth)

I killed every living thing on Czarnia fer fun. I killed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny an' things that don't even exist, an' so help me, I tried ta follow th' triple-fold path o' peace. I tried my best... but frag me for a bastich, even I got limits!

--Lobo (New Earth)

... He was a feisty little bastich and no mistake. May the blessings of the Triple Fish God be upon his passing and grace him with peace on the Triplefold path. Now let's get goin'.

--Lobo (New Earth)

If yer askin' if those alien bastiches managed to hoodoo my brain-pan, the answer is negatory. They gave it a shot, but 'pparently they didn't like what they found. 'Magine that!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya psycho bastich! Ya just doused my romantic flame!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Dream on, Quartz-Butt! I'm not gonna sit around bored outta my skull watchin' you losers mope!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Did anyone ever tell you how you glow when you're angry? I'll bet that's how you looked the first time you ever -- that's assuming of course that you ever lost your... innocence.

--Lobo (New Earth)

Genuflect on this, Creeps!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Feetal's Giz! Not a broad or booze in sight! What kinda God would make this his special place?

--Lobo (New Earth)

Cheer up, Draggy! Ya now belong t' a very exclusive club... ain't many guys have had th' good fortune t' watch somebody eat their own fraggin' entrails!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Hey! Those chains cost money!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya'd better watch out -- ya'd better not cry! Ya'd better not pout, I'm tellin' ya why -- Santa 'Bo is comin' to town!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Foibles? Moi?

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya can sit on yer prizes, Johnny...I'm just here for the fun!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Not only am I doing you for free, fella -- I'm gonna kill you in a brand new -- and utterly disgusting -- way!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya gotta try it ta deny it, guys! Here, have a shot o' some I rolled -- I mean, confiscated -- earlier!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Mess with the Main Man and you buy yourself oceans of trouble.

--Lobo (New Earth)

Hey, I like yer attitude m'man! An' yer pomes ain't bad, either.

--Lobo (New Earth)

What, no pomes? Fer shame! But don't worry -- I'm sure I'll come up with an apt fraggin' epitaph!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Anythin' ta keep some distance between me an' these religioso fruitcakes! Only thing that stops me offin' th' whole fraggin' lot o' them is th' fact that more wars have been fought over religion than any other cause... so it can't be all bad!

--Lobo (New Earth)

That's right, folks! I realized preachin' could bring th' big cash rewards man-hunters can only dream about... an' now I want my share! What happens if ya don't stump up? Well, I'm just liable to do ya some kinda injury! So, folks, where would ya rather be hit -- in th' pocket or in th' face? Th' choice is yours!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Straw that broke th' camel's back, huh? 'Tell ya, they don't make postal workers like they used ta!

--Lobo (New Earth)

See, ya should never make threats unless ya can back 'em up! Otherwise, what happens when ya come up against a monster like me?

--Lobo (New Earth)

Whaddaya think I am -- a brazeer? Th' Main Man don't need no support! Awright! Sooner we get this gig started, sooner I'm stinkin' rich!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Somebody's gonna end up in plaster for this! Somebody else, that is!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Ya ankle-sunkin' dwarf bastiches! I'll give ya customer-friendly!

--Lobo (New Earth)

What an ignominious end fer th' galaxy's top assassin -- bit ta death by a billion fraggin' ants with th' Devil's own music blarin' in my head!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I'm hungover -- th' Ghostboys cleaned me out at poker -- an' it feels like Jimby's babe's left me some kinda crustacean memento!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Friends -- bikers -- psychopaths -- lissen up! I ain't here ta watch no dummies racin'! Like, where were they when we wuz proppin' up bars an' pukin' an' fightin'? They ain't genuine bikers! they're semi-pros an' cash-crazy creeps! Th' real bikers -- namely us -- have been sidelined an' disqualified! I say we have our own fraggin' race, my well-oiled friends!

--Lobo (New Earth)

Darlene, honey, I don't wanna hurt yer feelin's -- though I wouldn't mind feelin' yer hurtin's so t'speak -- but what kinda present is that for a man?

--Lobo (New Earth)

It's party-time, campers! An' ol' Lobo is here to play host! So... who do I kill first?

--Lobo (New Earth)

Sheesh! Th' ignominy of it -- th' Main Man reduced to a skeleton collectin' fraggin' stupid snails! If Jonas Glim ever gets t'hear o' this...!

--Lobo (New Earth)

I'm Lobo, man! When the meanest, baddest suckers in the galaxy need someone offed--they call me! When the Khunds need a planet's leader knocked off before they invade...they call me! When Darkseid needs someone assassinated...you know who he calls?

--Lobo (New Earth)