"It's Only a Movie, Take Two": Film Freak is in S.T.A.R. Labs when he says "Rosebud" and one of the buildings explodes. Two guards hear the noise of the explosion, but it's too late for them to do anything about it--Film Freak and a supersized gorilla walk past
Appearing in "It's Only a Movie, Take Two"
- Gotham City Police Department
- Helena Kyle
- Sam Bradley, Jr. (Flashback only)
- Slam Bradley (Flashback and main story)
- Billy (Dies)
- Detective Campbell
Synopsis for "It's Only a Movie, Take Two"
Film Freak is in S.T.A.R. Labs when he says "Rosebud" and one of the buildings explodes. Two guards hear the noise of the explosion, but it's too late for them to do anything about it--Film Freak and a supersized gorilla walk past their unconscious bodies and out the hole he's created.
Holly) is still being held in the East End Precinct by Detective Lenahan. She insists that she really is Catwoman, but Lenahan doesn't believe her. The real Catwoman wouldn't have been arrested so easily, and she wouldn't still be here days later. He demands the real Catwoman's name as he holds up a glass of water, just out of her reach, but they're interrupted when someone calls out Lenahan's name.
Selina--as Catwoman--is above them, inching forward a twelve-inch crawl space created when the neighborhood's councilman hired his contractor brother-in-law to work on the building. She makes her way directly above the interrogation room and starts unscrewing the ceiling panel. Now all she needs is a distraction, which is provided when Detective Worth hails his colleague.
Worth tells Lenahan that the captain wants every shield and uniform in the precinct on the street now. There's a giant ape loose in the city. Lenahan orders Campbell to stay behind and make sure Holly doesn't escape, but Selina has heard everything and knows the precinct is all but empty. She presses down on the ceiling panel and goes crashing down into the interrogation room.
Selina spray paints the security cameras and knocks out Campbell before Holly comprehends what has happened. She says, "You came for me. You really came for me." before throwing herself into Selina's arms.
The two Catwomen make their way to the roof where they can look down and see the police fighting the giant gorilla. The police's rifles aren't effective, so they get out a rocket launcher. Selina can't allow that to happen. She tells Holly they have to save that poor, dumb ape. Holly protests. The cops are after Selina, and the gorilla can handle himself anyway. Selina says it's Catwoman's job to protect the innocent before jumping down to join the fray.
Selina's cell phone rings, and Holly answers Ted. Ted asks where Selina is, and Holly responds, "Guess."
Selina manages to upset the gorilla, causing him to thrash out of the way of the rocket, but that also causes him to attack her as the police ready another assault. She grabs a nonlethal gas grenade off the belt of one SWAT officer and throws it into the gorilla's mouth. The gorilla falls asleep and nearly falls on top of the police as he collapses. Catwoman disappears into the night with Lenahan scanning the skyline, searching in vain for the beauty that put this beast to sleep.
Slam Bradley stumbles out of a bar across the street as the proprietor shouts at him to go home. He comes across the unconscious gorilla and falls to the ground, pained. He opens up his shirt to expose the scars he received last year. He can't believe they still hurt.
One year ago, Slam was in Martha Wayne Memorial Hospital waiting to be released. His son Sam had come to visit him, and Slam was asking about Black Mask's murder. Were there any leads? What did his friends on the force say? Sam reminded him that he didn't have any friends left on the force, but he did say that one cop suspected Catwoman. Slam laughed off the allegation. No one knew Catwoman like he did. Actually that was what Sam wanted to talk to him about...
In the present, Slam lies shirtless on the alley floor and mutters, "My kid. My own kid. Pathetic old man." A new voice says, "Please, don't insult yourself." Film Freak is eating popcorn. He says that Slam is the perfect mixture of two forties movie cliches, the pathetic drunk and the world-weary film noir detective, which combined together skirt the edge of parody and pathos. Film Freak walks away, warning Slam that his character arc seems dangerously steep and he should pray for a third act miracle.
Selina and Holly are back in Irena Dubrovna's apartment where Selina is fussing over Helena while Karon has her arm wrapped around Holly. Holly is reading the newspaper, listing off the crimes committed in the East End last night, when Karon puts the clues together... A house falls on cops in Buster Keaton's Steamboat Bill, Jr., a woman gets a grapefruit to the face in Jimmy Cagney's The Public Enemy, and a giant gorilla is from King Kong. Selina knows it has to be Film Freak, but none of them know what he'll do next.
Film Freak goes to a warehouse to meet his dealer Billy and collect his order. Billy makes small talk about movies while prying open Film Freak's crate, and Film Freak waits only until he's done before shooting him dead. Film Freak derides Billy's last reference to Easy Rider as the man lies there dead and says he has learned to appreciate certain other qualities in film... and also, "I've learned to stop worrying... and love the bomb."
Inside the crate lies a nuclear bomb.
- This book was first published on October 18, 2006.
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