"Diamonds Are a Girl's Worst Friend": Ever since Catwoman arrived in the Gotham Underground, everything has gone wrong. Princess Tinderbox of Charneltown nixed an intertribal marriage with the Warhogs, from whom Catwoman stole a dangerou
- Don't celebrity villains usually have to die before they get the honor of the wax museum?
- -- Catwoman
Appearing in "Diamonds Are a Girl's Worst Friend"
- Gotham City
- Gotham City Reservoir
- Gotham City Opera House
- Gotham Underground
- The Nethers
- Rock Bottom
Synopsis for "Diamonds Are a Girl's Worst Friend"
Ever since Catwoman arrived in the Gotham Underground, everything has gone wrong. Princess Tinderbox of Charneltown nixed an intertribal marriage with the Warhogs, from whom Catwoman stole a dangerous bio-toxin. After her encounter with the Joker's Daughter, the crazed teen flooded Charneltown, prompting its leader, Doctor Phosphorous to strike back. The whole situation is ripe for the beginning of a war. And having now arrived in Rock Bottom to discover that the lava pits within could lead to a fire that would destroy all of Gotham City if it became hot enough. Unfortunately, the massive cache of diamonds to be found there must go untouched by her, if she intends to bring an end to all of the chaos.
Meanwhile, above ground, Alice Tesla has narrowly survived an explosion in her lab, after realizing too late that the gem Catwoman sent her from below had an explosive flaw that could be exploited by exposing it to specific frequency vibrations. Fortunately the communication device between she and Catwoman is still intact, and upon learning of the gems' properties, Catwoman realizes that she can use them to bury the diamond mine. Alice plays her the harmonic frequency, which detonates several of the diamonds lying around, to Catwoman's horror. Fortunately, the explosions are not so big that she is injured, and it gives her an idea of how much punch they pack. The noise alerts Rat-Tail to her whereabouts, and he calls down to her from a high ledge. She greets him happily, but warns that they are going to need more rope than he's brought with him.
Meanwhile, Tinderbox is annoyed with her father for having sent a fireball to the Nethers, reminding that it could have killed the citizens of that region. If she intends to take control of it, she would have liked for there to be some living people to rule. She reveals that she trapped the Joker's Daughter within hard wax when the fireball came. Her father is impressed, but has bigger plans. He intends to blow up his gem-bombs, igniting the lava pits in Rock Bottom, and making Gotham burn - and that would give them all the heat they need to return to the surface to stay.
Elsewhere, Warhog and his son Rake head toward Rock Bottom, eager to take advantage of the war going on between Charneltown and the Nethers. Since Zakaria mutinied against him, Warhog has nowhere to go but down, anyway. He urges Rake to leave Phosphorous to him, and to take back their bunker and continue his work on the bio-toxin if he doesn't return.
Meanwhile, Catwoman and Rat-Tail have arranged the explosive gems around fissures in the upper regions of Rock Bottom, leaving a secret escape hatch for themselves. She hopes that they can flood Rock Bottom before it gets too hot, and causes a fire that could consume the city. In aid of that plan, Selina leaves Rat-Tail to hold the fort while she returns to the Nethers to set a timer on the flood-gate, so it cools the lava in Rock Bottom just in time.
On her way out, she encounters Warhog, and warns him away. He responds that he won't be running away this time, and demands that she return the vial of bio-toxin she stole from him. He intends to take it for himself, and adapt or die. Against Rake's wishes, he takes the vial and consumes its contents, doubling over. Moving on, Catwoman warns Rake to get to the catwalk above the explosion while Warhog must hold off Phosphorous for as long as he can.
Soon, Catwoman is in the Nethers, and she is surprised by how badly the place is burnt. She soon discovers that one of the few people still alive is the Joker's Daughter - albeit, locked in a case of wax. She offers the deal that she can go free if she will agree to help set a timer on the flood gates. As soon as she is free, the Joker's Daughter attacks, promising to mark Catwoman with her smile brand. Catwoman uses the only leverage she has to get away: she has the Joker's Daughter's cat tied up at Rock Bottom - which will soon be blowing up and flooded. Angrily, the girl agrees to help in exchange for the ugly cat's life.
Back at Rock Bottom, Warhog's toxin appears to be working, making him immune to Phosphorous' toxic fireballs. When Catwoman and the Joker's daughter arrive on the scene, the girl is upset to learn that her cat has been encased in wax by Princess Tinderbox. With her plan set to come to fruition, Catwoman warns Warhog to get up to safety as Tinderbox and Phosphorous begin to realize that the roof is caving in. The falling rocks begin to bury the diamond mine as Warhog persists in fighting an outraged Phosphorous, even as the water begins to flood the tunnels from the Nethers to Rock Bottom. In the confusion, everyone tries their best to make it out of the situation alive.
In the aftermath, Doctor Phosphorous survives to find that his daughter did not - but nor did Warhog. At the Warhog bunker, the high temperature readings lead its occupants to believe that the world outside is burning, and they will have to go under lockdown with the unfortunate truth that they have no women among them. The Joker's Daughter and her ugly cat are still at large.
Meanwhile, Catwoman and Rat-Tail search the remains of Alice Tesla's glass house for her. Selina managed to steal a sack of gem-bombs that didn't go off, believing they might come in useful soon. Rat-Tail playfully mocks her lack of self-control before taking his leave of her. Upon finding Alice, Selina promises to help rebuild her house, but wonders what will become of the gems that made it up from Charneltown to Gotham City. Alice assures her that it would be practically impossible for anyone to reproduce the frequency required to blow the diamonds.
However, at a local performance of Wagner's ring cycle, an prodigious opera singer is coming dangerously close...
- This book was first published on December 31, 2013.
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