Doom? Never hurts to set a goal. 
- — Robotman
Doom Patrol (Volume 5) #1 is an issue of the series Doom Patrol (Volume 5) with a cover date of October, 2009. It was published on August 5, 2009.
Synopsis for "We Who Are About to Die ..."
The Doom Patrol are assigned to infiltrate a secret base in Buena Suerte where they discover a breeding ground for biological constructs that bare a striking resemblance to Parasite which were created by Dr. Amanda Beckett. Beckett confronts the team and begins to strip in front of them before transforming into a insect like creature called Botfly. She indicates that "a biological link between the impregnator and the host was the critical factor." As the newly alerted military forces move in, the Doom Patrol is attacked by the "parasites". Rita quells the doctor's attack and Neg Man destroys the remaining pods of parasites.
As the Patrol try to escape in their helicopter, Nudge is machine gunned to death. Grunt runs off with her remains into the forests. Neg Man destroys some of the attack copters, but leaves one for Robotman. However, Elasti-Woman swats it down easily in giant form. The remainder of the team returns to their new base on Oolong Island, where Father Leslie tries to counsel them on their loss of Nudge. Cliff reacts coldly about Nudge's death while Larry mocks Leslie's sincere attempts by making a pretend confession about the sin of lust before returning to his Call of Duty videogame.
Father Leslie tries to start a conversation with Rita at a cafe but Rita doesn't want to talk because she knows that the Chief sent Father Leslie to assess the team. Father Leslie reports to the Chief and informs him that the team has no regard for loss or for their own lives. The Chief views the Doom Patrol as an effective means to an end and their lack of empathy keeps the focused. Father Leslie refuses to let the Doom Patrol sink further into this dark void.
Rita returns to her home on the island and takes a shower. Bumblebee sits in her little dollhouse and talks to Rita while she gets out of the shower. Karen complains that another flying roach came into her home but she beat it to death with her kitchen chair. Rita asks if Karen's "stuck miniature" situation has improved to which Karen replies to success. Rita assures Karen that the Chief will find a way to reverse the process when he isn't tied up with his other mad experiments. Rita does confess to Karen that what happened to Nudge was unfair and that they shouldn't have left Grunt behind with Nudge's body. Rita takes her mind off things by offering to make an omelette for her and Karen.
The Chief is contacted by Dr. Ackerman, who is in charge of the VULCAN Collider, a device that could bring about a doomsday event that will involve the production of microscopic black holes. Dr. Ackerman reports that the collider has successfully created a miniature singularity. Dr. Ackerman is shocked that this singularity hasn't destroyed the planet. The Chief is shocked as well because the existence of this black hole would never have been documented in time due to the laws of physics. Ackerman reports that Dr. Cale will be furious with both of them because the black hole "wants to negotiate terms". The Chief is intrigued by this turn of events...a singularity that thinks and plots.
Appearing in "We Who Are About to Die ..."
Featured Characters:
- Doom Patrol
- Chief
- Elasti-Woman
- Grunt (Quits team)
- Negative Man
- Nudge (Dies)
- Robotman
Supporting Characters:
- Bumblebee
- Dusty Marlow (First appearance)
- Rocky Davis
Antagonists:
- Amanda Beckett (First appearance)
Other Characters:
- Doctor Wade Ackerman
Locations:
Items:
Vehicles:
Synopsis for "A Day in the Life!"
Doc Magnus has a meeting with his neighbors, who want the Metal Men gone for good. The Metal Men are in Brazil, fighting the gigantic Zummazumma. The forgotten and unnoticed Copper manages to blind the giant by melting into his eyes. Mercury slingshots Lead through Zummazumma's head, which seems to be an effective strategy as he immediately collapses. The Metal Men are trying to recover the Ruby of Redemption for a museum in São Paulo.
The Metal Men bicker amongst themselves. Gold is becoming almost delusional in his self-importance, Tin is belittling himself at every turn, and Copper is unnoticed. Returning to HQ, The team watched TV while Tina prepared dinner for Doc Magnus. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he ate it, even though robots with no taste buds tended to make lousy cooks. Doc found Tina waiting in his bedroom, and had to carry her over his shoulder to get her out.
Appearing in "A Day in the Life!"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
Antagonists:
- Zummazumma
Other Characters:
- Mr. Epstein (First appearance)
- Mr. Forklift (First appearance)
- Mrs. Botticelli (First appearance)
Locations:
Items:
- Ruby of Redemption
Vehicles:
Notes
- This issue features a special preview of the upcoming issue Magog #1.
Trivia
- The release cover and virgin cover of this issue both feature the team busting through older issues of their series. The two covers that they're ripping out of are:
- Technology is given a heavy presence in this issue. Besides the frequent email messages and data files presented throughout the story, the characters are also using recognizable programs. Negative Man appears to be playing something that resembles Halo, and the Chief appears to have been looking Amanda Beckett up on something like Wikipedia.