"Idle Worship, Part Three: All of the Fanboys and Girls": The coroner determines that the body found in Serpent Mound was mummified by some kind of industrial means, like a fruit dehydrator. While that makes it difficult to place a time of death, the stomach's being full of worms suggest
- Ms. Chacon-- If I could remind you we're looking for suspects in a murder who may be attending this convention, and-- Look, how about if we pretend this is an episode of Star Cops. Had to be one where Bebe went undercover right? This is like that.
- -- Grant Moore
Appearing in "Idle Worship, Part Three: All of the Fanboys and Girls"
- Henry Durka
Synopsis for "Idle Worship, Part Three: All of the Fanboys and Girls"
The coroner determines that the body found in Serpent Mound was mummified by some kind of industrial means, like a fruit dehydrator. While that makes it difficult to place a time of death, the stomach's being full of worms suggest a period of only a few weeks. Detective Grant Moore, meanwhile, has at least determined that the girl's name was Sheila Harmon, and she was last seen a week ago at college. Harmon had been something of a homebody, obsessed with the Star Cops TV show, and some unpopular opinions had earned her some death threats - though nothing substantial as yet. In the meantime, he and his assigned partner Chondra Jackson had interviewed a similarly obsessed fan from Effigy Mound called Edie Chacon - once Chondra's boyfriend, now a transsexual prostitute.
Ray, the coroner recalls Chondra and her reputation, and Grant admits that she is a uniform officer with one foot still in the academy, who apparently learned about police work from being on Star Cops - though he can't disagree that he likes her anyway. Returning thoughts to work, Ray realizes that in ancient Egypt, they used to bury mummies with food in their bellies, for the afterlife. Perhaps the killer had packed Sheila's body with tapeworms so that she wouldn't have enough food to make the trip to the afterlife - as if they were sabotaging her corpse.
The next day, Grant gets bored waiting at the convention center in Illinois, where Copcon 2015, the Star Cops convention, is taking place, and feels strongly tempted to look up Chondra's rumoured sex tape on the internet, but us interrupted by her before he can do so. They are soon mobbed by Edie, who ignores the fact that they're supposed to be undercover in the hopes of introducing Chondra to her friends. Grumpily, Grant tries to get rid of her, and in doing so upsets her enough that she ditches them. Chondra assures him that Edie won't blow their cover, reminding that if she did, she'd have to share Chondra with the other fans. Besides, Edie can be of help to them, given that she has actually met some of the people who sent death threats to Sheila Harmon. Sighing, Grant decides to check registration records at local hotels to get a list of suspects going, leaving Chondra to keep an eye on Edie. As he leaves, though, he is noticed by someone else, who considers him a person of interest.
While Edie accepts all the glory that being dressed as Bebe Soma affords her, Chondra sneaks into the bathroom to take a call from her mother, who is upset that there is a Star Cops convention going on at all - unaware that Chondra is at it. She believes Chondra should have been called about it, and made a guest. Placating her, Chondra promises to call the organizers.
Meanwhile, Trevor Latta is hosting a panel at the convention, when he receives word that Chondra wants to see him in secret. Because of the network run of nearly sixty episodes per season, the Star Cops actors had worked near constantly, spending all of their time together. As a result, their teen hormones drove them to trade partners frequently, and ramp up the drama. As a result, Chondra had dated Trevor several times. He is happy enough to see her now, admitting that he is happy about all the attention he receives from Star Cops fans, still today. He loves to know that he's touched their lives.
Back in Effigy Mound, Sheila Harmon's mother is distraught to learn of her daughter's murder, and when she spots the girl who found Sheila's body - who has been kept in custody as a suspect - and attacks her. However, suddenly, both of them look into each other's eyes, and say "Hello Jonathan" without explanation, as if the words came from elsewhere.
At one of the convention hotels, superfan Henry Durka is unexpectedly dragged into a surreal cosmological realm, but he is judged unfit for Eternolos, and returned to his physical body. When he wakes, he is visited by an apparition of a man who calls himself Jonathan, and insists that he is to be Henry's general. He disappears suddenly as Grant knocks on Henry's hotel room door to question him.
- This book was first published on March 25, 2015.
- This issue is reprinted in the Effigy: Idle Worship collection.
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