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"Anything You Can Do I Can Do Bleeding": ===Years Ago===

Quote1.png You're all too weak... to handle one minute of being a woman on Apokolips. Quote2.png
Granny Goodness

Female Furies #1 is an issue of the series Female Furies (Volume 1) with a cover date of April, 2019. It was published on February 6, 2019.

Synopsis for "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Bleeding"

Years Ago

The final hurdle to Darkseid's rise to power is his mother Heggra, and it is Granny Goodness that fights and kills her; though Desaad takes the credit.

For her efforts, Granny Goodness is given the task of clean-up after the battle, while Desaad is promoted; though he complains that Granny receives Special Treatment. Granny's "Special Treament" includes submitting to Darkseid's unwanted sexual advances, at threat of ruin and promise of promotion. But when Granny Goodness awakes alone the next morning, she finds that she has only been placed in charge of the Orphanage, and not on the War Council, while Darkseid's Elite 'Men' laugh and mock.


Granny Goodness addresses the Female Furies, pitting them against each other with the knowledge that to be imperfect, was to be nothing at all. The Furies are the true elite, and Granny proposes sending them against the Forever People; but Darkseid's Elite laugh and propose that the Furies first pass some tests. The leering men put the Furies through humiliating ordeals designed to test their patience, not their martial skills.

  • The Bake Off
  • The Physical Examination
  • Evening Gowns
  • The 'Smile Contest'

Not only did the men laugh, but they fail the women at these tests; and Willik demands (and pays Granny in Apokoliptic gold) that Aurelie submit to special private training. Again Aurelie is accused of receiving "Special Treatment" -- this time by her fellow Furies. Willik's training is rudamentary, and involves a lot of grabbing and leering; and he gives her little choice but to return.

Big Barda calls away Aurelie to capture a runaway; who heard tales of freedom spread by the rebel leader Himon. While Aurelie is momentarily distracted by the lure of Himon, Big Barda captures the girl, but Steppenwolf's bastard son Rublon booms in and takes the runaway from them, and offers to go easy on her if she submits to him.

Already traumatized, Aurelie cuts Rublon's throat, and allows the runaway to escape. Barda has no choice but to help Aurelie bury Rublon's body on a passing comet, which they believe is a just punishment.

Appearing in "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Bleeding"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

  • Runaway Girl


Other Characters:



See Also

Links and References