- I was willing to negotiate with you at one point, but watching you destroy an entire planet and everyone on it because theyir "offering" was insufficient made me sick to my stomach. Anyone who is capable of such evil has made my list!
Synopsis for "Not Kansas"
Having come across Sportsmaster and The Clock King at the mall, the Joker and Harley Quinn make a rush at the thugs. Unfortunately, Clock King is prepared with a teleportation ring, which he and Sportsmaster stretch wide, causing the girls to fall right through it. On the other side, they unexpectedly find themselves surrounded by a conclave of alien soldiers, who mock their attire.
The alien Queen Eidijamon demands that they kneel before her as slaves, and then tell her their names. Firmly, the Joker introduces herself and Harley as protectors of the Earth and champions of their galaxy. An accountant also sent by the Clock King confirms that the Joker is a hero, but before he can let slip that Harley is anything but a hero, she zaps him to dust, further angering the Queen, who had taken him as a lover. Naturally, she orders the girls' deaths, and they make a run for it. In the process, Harley frightens what appears to be a giant pug dog, which tramples many soldiers. Angrily, the Queen complains that her husband has been disturbed. The dog then sits on Harley and explains in powerful voice that they must stop their violence, and come to a reasonable agreement. He and the Queen then fall into an argument over her affair with the accountant, resulting in his decision to eat her.
After befriending Harley and the Joker, the dog-king explains that there is only one teleportation ring that could get them home - but it is in a hard place to get to. The most feared man in the cosmos possesses it: Manos, Ruler of the Infinity Rings. Manos desires all of the power in the universe. Despite his doubts about their success, the king agrees to help them get to Manos on the condition that they send him some bacon cheeseburgers back through the ring once they're home.
Together, the Joker and Harley fly in a space ship to the location where Manos resides, though their plan is not solid. Sure that Power Girl's plan to ask nicely won't work, Harley suggests she use her assets to manipulate Manos into giving the ring to them. Power Girl ignores her and sticks with her own plan. As they approach, they are surprised to encounter an alien that resembles a giant slice of pizza. When Power Girl requests an audience with Manos, it refuses, prompting her to fly out and try in person. He attempts to kill her, and she ends up entangled in battle with it. Hoping to help, Harley blasts it with an alien weapon, and destroys it utterly.
Angrily, one of the planet's residents requires them to state their business or die. When Power Girl requests an audience with Manos, the man allows it - after Manos destroys a planet by playing a massive cosmic organ. While he agrees to give them use of his teleportation ring, he requires them first to retrieve his cosmic cubicle from planet Elder-7. Having witnessed his despotism, Power Girl refuses, and Harley pilfers his rings, using them to destroy him. Manos' many children agree to show them the teleportation ring, if they hand over the remaining rings. After destroying the cosmic organ, Power Girl and Harley jump through the ring,
When they return through the Clock King's ring, though, his reaction is swift, and he shoves them through it again. Seconds later - but two weeks for them - Harley and Power Girl emerge, narrowly having escaped a forced marriage to Vartox. Grumpily, the pair decide it's time to see Clock King and Sportsmaster punished for putting them through that ordeal.
Appearing in "Not Kansas"
- Arthur the Pug
- Vartox (Mentioned only)
- The miniseries Harley Quin and Power Girl takes place between panels 3 and 4 on page 20 of this issue.