"A Day in the Life": Harley Quinn receives an unwelcome awakening from her alarm clock, and groggily rises, bidding good morning to the prisoner she'd duct-taped to the wall earlier, and then carrying the clock into the washroom, where she fills the sink with w
- Look, I'm in no mood for this crap. Especially after the day I been havin!
Appearing in "A Day in the Life"
- Sakim (First appearance)
- Mason Macabre
- Big Tony
- Sy Borgman
- Dr. Hertz
- Brooklyn Bruisers
- Joker (In dream sequence only)
Synopsis for "A Day in the Life"
Harley Quinn receives an unwelcome awakening from her alarm clock, and groggily rises, bidding good morning to the prisoner she'd duct-taped to the wall earlier, and then carrying the clock into the washroom, where she fills the sink with water, and then drowns the clock. She is interrupted from her morning tooth-brushing by the sudden arrival of Edgar Yeung's legs - without the egg. The legs begin swatting at the man taped to the wall, and Harley calls out for Edgar to come and collect them. He appears, explaining that the legs have been malfunctioning, calling on one of his other chassis to capture them. Embarrassedly, he collects them and carries them away, apologizing for the inconvenience.
Worrying that she'll be late for work, Harley leaps into the shower, and is displeased to find that there's no hot water. Investigating, she heads down to the basement, which has flooded. Big Tony explains that the water heater burst during the night, and he hasn't been able to fix it, and a plumber is going to cost them. Helpfully, Mason Macabre offers to use one of his connections to get her a new heater at half the cost of a new one. Thanking him, she offers to give him the money, and notices that he's got a cut on his arm. To treat it, he tears his own shirt off - much to her delight - and uses it as a bandage. He assures her there's no need to pay him, and she can make it up to him over dinner that night - and she is eager to do so. As she heads back up the stairs, Mason asks her to turn off the water on the floor where she keeps her pets.
Harley discovers that her pets are all hungry, and she doesn't have the money for their all the food they need. Through the ceiling, she hears her own ringing cellphone, and hurries upstairs to get it. On the steps, she encounters the goatboy, who confesses that she needs to pay for the damaged wiring in his wall. At last, Harley picks up her phone and finds Dr. Hertz on the other end, complaining that she needs to come into work ASAP to handle two patient transfers and three back-to-back sessions. Harley promises to be there on time, hurriedly dressing herself and putting on her makeup. Knowing she'll never be able to get to there fast enough on foot, she decides to try a skateboard.
En route to work, Harley spots two bikers attacking an old woman, and decides to intervene, grabbing the wrench from a construction worker's belt, and hurling it at the bikers. Unfortunately, she misses, and they escape with the lady's purse. Unfortunately, her bag contained her rent money and cat-food budget, and she begins wailing. Harley is moved, and cries as well, handing the woman a wad of cash to cover it.
At last, Harley arrives at work, and she is greeted by Sy Borgman, who warns her that somebody has been stealing supplies around the home; medicine and machinery, mostly. Harley promises to keep an eye out, closing herself in her office to work on the papers for the transfers, but only getting a moment to do so before her first appointment shows up. He's Seymour Bupkin, and his penchant for wearing leather bondage gear prompted his daughter to put him in the home and require him to see a psychologist. Before long, she figures out his kink, and has him bound and gagged, giving her the full hour for their session to finish up the paperwork for Dr. Hertz. Unfortunately, Dr. Hertz also requires her to stay late - which means cancelling her date with Mason.
Later, Harley checks in with Sakim at the nurses' station, worrying after a patient who didn't show up for her appointment. She decides to check in on Mrs. Abby herself, and is upset to find the old woman has collapsed in her room. Fortunately, the woman is still warm, but no pulse. Using her own first-aid training, Harley gets the woman breathing again until the doctor arrives to handle it. Sakim suggests she relax at the nurses' station for now.
After work, Harley decides to see if Mason is still up, despite the late hour, sneaking into his room, and lying next to him as he sleeps. She tries to get him to wake up to play with her, but instead of Mason, the Joker turns around and attempts to kill her.
With a start, Harley wakes from her nightmare at the nurses' station. Fortunately, Mrs. Abby has recovered, but she collapsed because someone stole her medical equipment while she was still using it. With twenty minutes left before her planned date with Mason, Harley sadly calls him to cancel. He promises that it's alright and no inconvenience, despite the fact that he is secretly already dressed, and the 5-star reservation has already been made. After hanging up, he invites his mother to come with him instead.
Back at work, Sakim jokes that it was a dumb idea to cancel her date over work, but Harley admits she had no choice. Just then, she receives a call from Summer at the roller derby rink, who warns that they have a game in fifteen minutes. Exasperated, Harley complains that she'd thought that was tomorrow, and someone was supposed to remind her. Moments later, Sy rolls by and reminds her of the skate club gig. Taking pity on her, Sakim offers to stay and cover for her. Happily, she gives him a big hug, promising that she owes him one. As she runs off, he thinks to himself that he loves her too.
Harley hurries into a cab, begging to be taken to Belt Parkway. Unfortunately, her cab driver tries to hold her up at gunpoint. Harley will have none of it, and headbutts him, kicking him out of the cab and driving herself to the skate club. Unfortunately, she arrives too late to actually play. All the same, summer and the rest of the team decide to go out for dinner together. On the street, though, they run into Mason, who is angry to discover that she wasn't at work like she'd said she was. Harley tries to make excuses, but Mason and his mother are insulted. Dejected, Harley collapses on the curb in tears, and realizes that it's time to buckle down and fix her life - even if it means killing someone.
- This book was first published on January 28, 2015.
- No special notes.
- A copy of Star-Spangled War Stories Featuring G.I. Zombie #4 is sitting on Harley's bed.
- Hops-Meister is a real company that produces hops for breweries - though the beer that appears in this issue may not be intentionally referencing it.
- The Brooklyn Diner is a real diner in New York City.
- Harley's ringtone for work is She Works Hard for the Money by Donna Summer.
- Harley's ringtone for her Roller Derby team is Hell on Wheels by Cher.
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