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"Be Careful What'cha Wish For...": Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are seeing a movie, and talking through it to the annoyance of other audience members, who try to get them to keep it down. Harley shows remarkable restraint in n


Quote1 What's gonna happen here is, I'm gonna turn off the lights fer two minutes, an' when I turn 'em back on, whoever's still standin' gets the job. Quote2
-- Harley Quinn



Appearing in "Be Careful What'cha Wish For..."

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Synopsis for "Be Careful What'cha Wish For..."

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are seeing a movie, and talking through it to the annoyance of other audience members, who try to get them to keep it down. Harley shows remarkable restraint in not maiming them. Instead, they try seeing another film, but Harley freaks out when a battery shocks her foot, and she thinks its a rat. Sighing, Ivy leads her out, reminding her friend to relax.

Over dinner, Harley explains that she got about eighty applicants for her assistant job so far. Between all of her jobs and commitments, she needs about six of them - and another six to fight crime in her name. Ivy warns that this plan is starting to sound like she's assembling a street gang. Ignoring her, Harley goes on to tell of how Big Tony found her a building she can put the new hires in, so they're not in the same place as her. It might be a fixer-upper though. Ivy further warns that this is starting to sound like even more work for Harley, who explains that she thinks offering the girls housing will be a draw.

The building happens to be an old hotel called The Dreamin' Seaman, and it is - to Tony's disappointment - a derelict. Harley doesn't seem to mind, though. She doesn't seem to notice, but it's obvious that a lot of the rooms used to be used for torture by the Russian Mafia. Despite the poor condition of just about everything else, the plumbing is fine, having been replaced after Hurricane Sandy. She drives a hard bargain, and gets the whole place for $200,000.

Later, Eggy helps arrange the queue of women who have come to be interviewed outside Harley's building. He and Tony are surprised, though, when it turns out Ivy is leaving. She explains that she has other things to do, and she feels this whole plan is doomed anyway, but she promises to come back in a week to see how it is going. Upstairs, meanwhile, Harley takes interviews from several candidates - with varying degrees of qualification. Harley is so taken with many of them that she isn't sure how to narrow it down. Rather than do a second round of questions, she decides that she'll turn off the lights for two minutes, and whoever's still standing gets the job.

When the lights come back on, the herd has been thinned, and Harley sends those remaining to see Tony for their instructions. In the meantime, Harley visits Queenie to look at costume designs for her assistants. She explains that the costumes and the girls should represent her values - courageousness, nobility, the ability to inspire others to be the same. The costumes should be like flags representing the new world order.

"Oh, yeah, that feels wonderful. Like a rainbow unicorn brushing its gentle mane against my blanched bottom."

Afterwards, she has a look in on Tony and Eggy, who are remodelling the old hotel. It turns out they need supplies if they're to finish by week's end. Harley agrees to purchase the supplies using the credit card she snagged when she blackmailed Barney Runoff, back in February. The next day, after work, Harley tests everything personally before buying anything, much to the chagrin of the store owners, but in the end she has everything she needs, and plenty of exhaustion to go with it.

When the big move-in day arrives, Harley welcomes her girls to the new building, explaining that they will each have a uniform and a folder full of emergency numbers, spending money, and a weapons allotment. After getting changed, they have 15 minutes to meet her back outside to learn of their first task. As the others leave, Harley stops one of the girls - a blind paraplegic named Holly Hamden - whose new job is to oversee the entire operation, earning her the entire first floor to operate from. They made the building wheelchair accessible just for her. She gives Holly a set of master-keys, and then awaits the unveiling of her assistants.

Harley is incredibly excited to be introduced to the Gang of Harleys.



Notes

  • This book was first published on April 1, 2015.
  • No special notes.

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