"That Stupid Bastich": Lobo shows up at Noonan's Bar. He begins drinking and Sean Noonan talks to Hitman. It seems Deborah Tiegel has dumped Tommy over his job, yet again.

Quote1 Excuse me, Miss Lobo? Quote2
Tommy Monaghan

Hitman/Lobo: That Stupid Bastich #1 is a one-shot with a cover date of September, 2000.

Appearing in "That Stupid Bastich"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:


  • Lobo
  • Paulie Batt (Only appearance; dies)
  • Johnny Batt (Only appearance; dies)

Other Characters:

  • Salad Mike (Single appearance)




Synopsis for "That Stupid Bastich"

Lobo shows up at Noonan's Bar. He begins drinking and Sean Noonan talks to Hitman. It seems Deborah Tiegel has dumped Tommy over his job, yet again.

Bored, Tommy reads Lobo's mind and finds out who he is.

Also bored, Lobo sees Sixpack, dressed in his superhero costume and starts making fun of him. Tommy decides to put an end to the bullying. Tommy pours a beer over his head and pokes Lobo in the shoulder, calling him a woman. Lobo turns around and Tommy shoots Lobo in both eyes, running out of the bar while Lobo is blinded. Lobo races after Tommy, tracking him by smell.

As Tommy runs, Salad Mike spots him and calls Paulie Batt. Tommy jumps over the hood of a police car and the police give chase. By now, Lobo's eyes have grown back and he demolishes the police car as he chases Tommy.

Johnny Batt is on a rooftop with a sniper rifle, waiting for Tommy to appear. When Tommy does show up he is running, with Lobo right behind him. Johnny misses Tommy and instead, shoots Lobo in the head. A group of professional killers hired by Paulie Batt begin shooting at Tommy. Lobo kills half the killers, not wanting anyone but himself to kill Tommy.

Tommy makes a run for it and kills the other half of Batt's killers. Tommy recognizes the guys who tried to kill him and runs for Paulie's, with Lobo right behind him. Lobo arrives just in time to get shot by Paulie's goons and he goes wild, killing everyone. During the carnage, Tommy calls Sixpack at Noonan's Bar and asks him to put the team together. Finished killing everyone else, Lobo sees Tommy and the chase begins again.

Tommy runs to a construction site where Sixpack has mixed water and detergent in a cement mixer. Tommy dives into it to wash the alcohol smell off him to throw off Lobo's scent. Lobo loses the scent and Tommy and Section 8 hide in the construction site. Lobo turns up at the construction site and Shakes runs past him.

Bewildered, Lobo is not prepared when Jean de Baton attacks and breaks his baton over Lobo's head. Then the Defenestrator smashes a window over Lobo's head. Then Flemgem spits phleghm into Lobo's face. Friendly Fire takes a shot at Lobo and hits Jean de Baton.

In the meantime, Tommy has begun controlling a wrecking ball. Atop the wrecking ball is perched Sixpack. Tommy swings the wrecking ball at Lobo, smashing him against a girder. Tommy sends the wrecking ball at Lobo again, crushing him against the ground.

Next, Bueno Excellente marries Lobo while he's out cold and Sixpack videotapes it. then Dogwelder welds a dog to Lobo's butt. Lobo returns to Noonan's where Tommy and Sixpack are watching the video. Tommy blackmails Lobo into not hurting him or anyone from Noonan's in return for not revealing the tape.

Lobo flies off, none too happy, realizing too late that Sixpack pissed in his Spacehog's gas tank while he was unconscious.



  • No trivia.

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