"There's Nothing I Haven't Sung About": On December 28th, 1919, Col. Jennifer Sparks is only seconds away from marrying Lorenzo Slzfi, the son of Regis, the dictator of Sliding ALbion, an alternate reality in which blue-skinned aliens have become the absolute rulers. The marriage between Slzfi a
- We're living in a time where gods walk the earth and get knee-walking drunk with us on Friday nights. A time of winged women, global shamans and men who know how you're going to die just by looking at you. Enjoy it while you still have the ability to suck air, Angie. I wish it could have gone on forever.
Appearing in "There's Nothing I Haven't Sung About"
Synopsis for "There's Nothing I Haven't Sung About"
On December 28th, 1919, Col. Jennifer Sparks is only seconds away from marrying Lorenzo Slzfi, the son of Regis, the dictator of Sliding ALbion, an alternate reality in which blue-skinned aliens have become the absolute rulers. The marriage between Slzfi and Sparks is intended to create a coup to depose Regis and give sovereignty of Albion (England) back to its people. The wedding is interrupted by Regis, who complains that Lorenzo was supposed to marry his sister. A battle ensues, and Sparks escapes the crossfire by leaping into a rocket ship piloted by her Uncle Albert and Ernest Hemingway. But just as the ship returns back to their own reality, Albert shoots Sparks.
Jenny wakes up back home in Berlin, where Hemingway informs her that Albert had been captured by Lorenzo's forces and replaced by a robot. Lorenzo had no intent of sharing power with Sparks and wanted her out of the way. Jenny inspects herself and notices that she doesn't even have a scar. It is at this point that she meets Professor Angela Spica, who technically hasn't even been born yet but has traveled back in time from the distant future to save Sparks' life. Sparks asks Prof. Spica about how she came to possess the technology to travel back in time, and Angie explains that she essentially forced herself to invent it (among other things) so that she wouldn't get stuck working in a bank like the rest of her family. None of this makes any sense to Sparks, but it doesn't matter. Angie was only supposed to save Jenny's life and suggest that she start keeping a diary. As she prepares to return to her own time, Sparks sees a brief glimpse of the future, but any wonderment she might be experiencing has to be put on hold, as it is time for her to go back to Sliding Albion and rescue her Uncle Albert.
Fast forward to December 31st, 1999, as Jenny is finishing up her diary, and realizes that the diary might never have existed before Angie traveled back in time, that Angie might have told Sparks to start keeping a diary to ensure that the Authority would be created. But it's only hours before Sparks is fated to die, and there is no time to contemplate such matters, so she dismisses this as a "crazy thought from an old woman as she gets ready to pack up her thoughts and leave her life behind."
In the end of the issue, the Engineer places a rose at Jenny Spark's grave.
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