- You're not some achingly average oaf ... easily defeated by life's vicissitudes. You're the great and powerful Larfleeze. Immortal warrior ... the one and only Orange Lantern in all the universe! There's no challenge you cannot face! No enemy you cannot vanquish!
Larfleeze #1 is an issue of the series Larfleeze (Volume 1) with a cover date of August, 2013. It was published on June 26, 2013.
Synopsis for "The Extremely Large Dog on the Edge of Forever!"
Larfleeze and his unwilling butler Stargrave sit at the edge of The Creation Point, where Larfleeze plans to let them both die once his ring’s charge runs out. We learn that this is because of the destruction of all of Larfleeze’s personal belongings (which he caused).
Stargrave desperately tries to convince Larfleeze to get them away while they still have power, but Larfleeze refuses, instead going into a monologue about his backstory, which according to Stargrave he has heard multiple times over.
It’s shown that Larfleeze was born into a farming family on the planet of Sh’pilkuzz, being the youngest of 17 (and counting) siblings. His parents call him ugly, but as they’ve apparently already sold off the maximum of 6 babies, they have to keep him. He says he had a relatively good life until the invasion of the Lakadakians, who enslaved the entire planet. We find out he had a wife called Bronkia, who he had several unnamed children with before they were both sent to work in the mines.
After years of slavery and the death of Bronkia, Larfleeze devised an escape plan by hiding in a pile of dead bodies on a cart being taken out of the mine. This is when Stargrave interjects and suggests this backstory is all being made up. To Larfleeze’s surprise, the cart instead lead to an incinerator, which he somehow survived. He would then free all the slaves and take back Sh’pilkuzz.
As soon as he had the opportunity, Larfleeze found a ship and escaped Sh’pilkuzz, to which Stargrave asks how much of the story is true, to which Larfleeze replies about half. Which half? No one knows.
Larfleeze would then spend the next part of his life as a “master” thief, recounting a particular incident (which Stargrave was tired of hearing) about a heist on the planet Maltus where he escaped from The Manhunters with the Parallax Essence. This makes Stargrave question Larfleeze on his age (as The Manhunters were active billions of years ago) and Larfleeze states he stopped counting after his 2 millionth birthday. Stargrave then asks how someone could live for eons without gaining an iota of wisdom.
Larfleeze then begrudgingly recounts how he found his ring. Him and his crew of thieves landed on the planet Okkara in the Vega system and the Orange Power Battery called out to him, giving him a ring which Larfleeze would then use to slaughter his crew as he knew they would probably also seek the ring’s power.
After all the chaos he would cause in the Vega system, The Guardians would make a deal with Larfleeze to leave him alone if he stayed in the system, which they broke.
Stargrave screams at Larfleeze in rage and asks for the time, it being 8:15. Stargrave realises this is longer than the ring was supposed to last for, leading him to the conclusion that Larfleeze is a walking talking Avarice Power Battery.
Suddenly, a massive wolf made out of purple flame like energy eats Larfleeze, scaring Stargrave into trying to negotiate with the hound to become it’s butler. Larfleeze suddenly implodes the creature from the inside out, splattering it all over himself, Stargrave and surrounding rocks.
Before they can leave, The Laord of The Wolves appears, demanding to know who killed his hound. Larfleeze proudly proclaims he did it and that he has a new reason to live (and the Laord has a ton of treasure)
Appearing in "The Extremely Large Dog on the Edge of Forever!"
Featured Characters:
- Agent Orange (Flashback and main story)
Supporting Characters:
Villains:
- Gods of the House of Tuath-Dan
- Lakadakians (Flashback only)
- Manhunters (Flashback only)
Other Characters:
- Larfloozee (Flashback only)
- Larflem (Flashback only)
- Bronkia (Dies in flashback)
- Guardians of the Universe (Mentioned only)
- Krona (Mentioned only)
Locations:
- The Creation Point
- Sh'pilkuzz (Flashback only)
- Maltus (Flashback only)
- Vega System (Flashback only)
- Okaara (Flashback only)
Items:
Vehicles:
- Dead Wagon
See Also