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Lobo: Bounty Hunting for Fun and Profit

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"Introduction": Lobo begrudgingly begins his guide to bounty hunting by explaining he'd never be giving up his secrets in the first place if it weren't for, "pressin' financial need." He immediately imparts a warning to all would-be bounty hunters that they will likely be faced with chasing down


Quote1.png If ya can be sure o' killin' 'em, always let th' bad guys have first shot. It sure gets th' old adrenaline pumpin' -- also, it keeps me in good with th' comic code authorities! Quote2.png
— Lobo

Lobo: Bounty Hunting for Fun and Profit is a one-shot with a cover date of April, 1995.

Synopsis for "Introduction"

Lobo begrudgingly begins his guide to bounty hunting by explaining he'd never be giving up his secrets in the first place if it weren't for, "pressin' financial need." He immediately imparts a warning to all would-be bounty hunters that they will likely be faced with chasing down the toughest dudes in the galaxy, just like the mass murder Sharky Depravo he has chained to a chair. With more examples of bounty warrants like Mr. Starr, Evil Shtevel and My Lady Sin, Lobo then requests a volunteer. With no responses, Lobo breaks the fourth wall and pulls a comic book browser by the name of Leslie into the story.

Appearing in "Introduction"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

  • Leslie

Villains:

  • Sharky Depravo
  • Mr. Starr (Profile)
  • Evil Shtevel (Profile)
  • My Lady Sin (Profile)

Locations:

  • Lobo's Seminar


Synopsis for "Chapter 1: Weaponry"

Lobo explains the variety and importance of weapons, using fellow bounty hunters as examples. Bone-Idle Burraz never even needs to leave the house with the use of smart missiles (demonstrating on Sharky.) Jonas Glim demonstrates the multi-purpose Krupps 101, (again on Sharky.) Billy the Girl uses her feminine allure to disarm her target before she sucker punches him with her bio-implant Knuckleshox. Lobo makes a clear point that Billy's strategy requires the right assets, calling out Leslie in the same outfit Billy wore to demonstrate. Leslie is pounded to the ground. Lobo concludes by listing his usual overkill arsenal he takes on jobs.

Appearing in "Chapter 1: Weaponry"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

Villains:

  • Sharky Depravo

Other Characters:

  • Billy's Bounty (Unnamed)

Locations:

  • Lobo's Seminar
  • Bone-Idle Burraz's Home

Items:

Synopsis for "Chapter 2: The Image"

Lobo explains the importance of having a tough image which, in turn, builds a feared reputation amongst outlaws. 'Bo then gives Leslie an image make over and a new alias, Big Bad Lez. When Lez thanks Lobo, the Main Man slaps some sense into him until he speaks like a real bastich.

Appearing in "Chapter 2: The Image"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

  • Leslie a.k.a. Big Bad Lez

Other Characters:

Locations:

  • Lobo's Seminar

Synopsis for "Chapter 3: The Approach"

Lobo sends Big Bad Lez to approach a bounty with a prepared script. The target, Geraldo, is twice the size of Lez and pummels him through the floor.

Lobo gives Lez a chance to redeem himself, sending him into an alien race of canines with a wanted poster. Lez can't tell any of the dog citizens apart and asks one of them if they knew the outlaw Animalez Jonez. The stranger is Jonez himself, who points him towards the President. Lez once again is beaten to a pulp. Lobo warns never to trust anybody, then demonstrates how it os done properly. By hooking Jonez through the nose and examining him against the poster, he confirms his identity before shooting him in the head.

Lobo displays a more surreptitious approach for the next example. A mafia birthday is interrupted by a Gorilla-Gram delivery. Suspicious of the costumed individual, the mobsters gun the messenger down. While their backs are turned, Lobo emerges from the gift box that was delivered. Announcing his arrival, Lobo lays waist to the startled mob.

Appearing in "Chapter 3: The Approach"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

  • Leslie a.k.a. Big Bad Lez

Villains:

  • Geraldo
  • Animalz Jonez (Only appearance; dies)
  • Mafia (Only appearance; dies)
    • Boss Slaughter (Only appearance; dies)

Other Characters:

  • Canine President
  • President's Security
  • Gorilla-Gram employee (Only appearance; dies)
  • Johnny Quietus (Advertisement)
  • Sharky Depravo (Mentioned only) (Advertisement)

Locations:

  • Lobo's Seminar
  • Bar 'n' Kill
  • Canine City (Unnamed)
  • Boss Slaughter's Birthday Party

Synopsis for "Chapter 4: How to Get the Best Jobs"

Lobo takes Lez to Bunsen's Bounty to point out the pros (camaraderie) and cons (greedy agents) of a bounty agency. 'Bo cautions not to select warrants that seem fishy, ones that have gone unclaimed for a long time, for example. Lez disagrees and chooses what he assumes is an easy warrant on Pete the Psychic Psycho. Being psychic, Pete knows Lez will come after him and ambushes him as soon as he walks out of the building. Pete never foresaw Lobo shooting him in the back however.

Lobo mentions the best bounty hunters rely on their reputations to attract lucrative work, but those who have yet to build up a rep can always use the classifieds. Of course, anyone printing themselves in the paper make themselves easy targets for bounty hunter hunters, as Lez discovers.

Finally, the Main Man warns never to tackle anyone out of your league. Lez learns this lesson the hard way by trying to arrest Etrigan who engulfs him in Hellfire.

Appearing in "Chapter 4: How to Get the Best Jobs"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

Villains:

  • Pete the Psychic Psycho (Only appearance; dies)
  • Sonia Potts a.k.a. Malevola
  • Bounty Hunter Hunter

Other Characters:

  • Amon Drool
  • H'ash'ash'in (Profile)
  • Morris "The Baby Crusher" Zick (Profile)
  • Billy the Girl (Profile)
  • Max E. Priest (Profile)
  • The Gemini Twins (Profile)
  • Cretin (Profile)
  • Murder (Classifieds)
  • Jonas Glim (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • The Holme-Boys (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
    • Junior
    • Abdul
    • Sherlock
  • Jervis Potts a.k.a. Malign (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Aloysius Smith (Mentioned only) (Profile)
  • The Brothers Grimaldi (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Big Johnny Gentle (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Mrs. Bradley Baddly (Unnamed) (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Machete Peet (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Dave (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Frank Cassel (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Ms. Tribb (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • The Image Gang (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • The James Boys (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Bradley Baddly (Mentioned only) (Obituary)
  • John Cecil Rotten (Mentioned only) (Obituary)
  • Dogbar Marzooni (Mentioned only) (Obituary)
  • Frank Pariah (Mentioned only) (Obituary)

Locations:

  • Bunsen's Bounty
  • Hell
  • New New Zealand (Mentioned only) (Profile)
  • Dianine (Mentioned only) (Profile)
  • Magnum Suite, Hotel Uzi (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • The Holme-Boys Detective Agency (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Velvyt Glove Agency (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Psychic Assassins Inc. (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Widows and Orphans Fund (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Weapons Mart on Elm Street, Galactic Sector 3A-13 (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Building E, Derelict Dock Street, Freemantel (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Delphi-Ci Hi-Rise Cemetery (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)

Items:

  • The Last Czarnian By Ms. Tribb (Classifieds)
  • Quasi-intelligent Bio-Organic Ax (Answers to the name "Rebel.") (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Harakiri Shoulder-Launch RX-Missile (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • Bio-Implant Shocknuckles (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)
  • .75 PastorBlaster (Mentioned only) (Classifieds)

Synopsis for "Chapter 5: Double Up - or Quits?"

Lobo imparts his wisdom on the benefits and risks of partnering up with other bounty hunters, once again using Lez as a guinea pig, this time partnered with Johnny Quietus. Lez storms the Van Dallas Gang's hideout from the front, guns blazing, while Quietus takes down anyone trying to escape out the back. Lez congratulates Quietus on an easy 100,000 credits to split between them, to which Quietus responds by blasting Lez away. Lobo reiterates the importance of his previous rule to never trust nobody, before playing out the scenario again. This time, Lez pistol-whips Quietus before he can betray him, but is shot in the back by Van Dallas who was playing possum. As Quietus recovers from the blow, Van Dallas thanks him for letting him live in exchange for delivering his gang and taking out Quietus' partner. Quietus then draws on Van Dallas, claiming his bounty too. "Learn it guys! Never - fraggin' - trust - nobody!"

This leads 'Bo to reinforce a sideline point, make sure you have a killer instinct. If the poster says "Dead or Alive," consider them dead. Lez is pitted against Skipio in a violent gunfight. Lez makes a clean shot, literally disarming Skipio who tries to flee. Lez takes careful aim and separates both of his legs from his body. Lez approaches the crippled and helpless Skipio, telling him he will hang legally. Skipio opens his mouth revealing a frag grenade, taking Lez out with him. Lobo then demonstrates correct procedure with three bounty targets. Regardless of what they plead, bribe, or threaten, they all receive the same response, a gunshot to the head from pointblank range.

Appearing in "Chapter 5: Double Up - or Quits?"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

Villains:

  • Van Dallas Gang (Only appearance; dies)
    • Van Dallas (Only appearance; dies)
  • Sharky Depravo
  • Skipio (Only appearance; dies)
  • Psycho (Unnamed) (Only appearance; dies)
  • Mass Murderer (Unnamed) (Only appearance; dies)
  • Space Pirate (Unnamed) (Only appearance; dies)

Locations:

  • Lobo's Seminar
  • Frontier Town (Unnamed)

Items:

  • Frag Grenade

Synopsis for "Chapter 6: Disguises"

Lobo admits to the benefits of disguises if the situation calls for it, such as tuxedos and kilts, but he draws the line at tutus. He then dresses Lez up to look just like him, even painting his face. Lez enjoys the fear the Main Man's appearance inspires in others until he enters a dive bar and is murdered by a group of wanted men. As they celebrate "killing Lobo" the real 'Bo catches them off guard, bagging himself a big paycheck, while again reinforcing the idea not to trust anyone.

Appearing in "Chapter 6: Disguises"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

  • Leslie a.k.a. Big Bad Lez (Apparent Death)

Villains:

  • Mafiosi (Only appearance; dies)
  • Highlanders (Only appearance; dies)
  • War Criminals (Only appearance; dies)
  • Wanted Bar Patrons (Only appearance; dies)

Other Characters:

Locations:

  • Lobo's Seminar
  • Guido's Birtday Party
  • Highland Camp
  • Annual War Criminals Picnic
  • Eddie G's Rusty S____ in the Eye Tavern

Items:

  • Bagpipes
  • Claymore

Synopsis for "Chapter 7: The Detective Aspect of Bounty Hunting"

While electronics and galaxywide data banks make old fashioned leg work redundant, Lobo divulges that there is still one classic method that is still relevant... torturing information out of the stubborn leads.

Appearing in "Chapter 7: The Detective Aspect of Bounty Hunting"

Featured Characters:

Villains:

  • Sharky Depravo

Locations:

  • Interrogation Chamber

Synopsis for "Chapter 8: Testing Your Abilities"

Lobo puts Big Bad Lez to the test. His final exam to demonstrate all the skills he's learned. Lobo informs Lez he has released Sharky Depravo and it's his bounty to collect. Lez had previously tortured the whereabouts of Sharky out of a stooge, and now heads to his hideout. From a distance Lez surveys the hostage situation. Not taking any chances, Lez snipers Sharky with a head-shot from long range. Ecstatic, he enters the building to recover the hostage, only to find the hostage dead on the ground, dressed as Sharky. The "hostage" in the chair reveals his true identity and riddles Lez with holes. Sharky gloats over the dying novice bounty hunter, when Lez unveils the frag grenade hidden in his mouth. Sharky's durable skin allows him to survive the blast but he doesn't count on Lobo to enter the fray. After thanking Sharky for his help throughout his educational guide, Lobo gives him a clean, painless death. At Leslie's burial, Lobo once again imparts his most important rule, "Never trust Nobody!"

Appearing in "Chapter 8: Testing Your Abilities"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

  • Leslie a.k.a. Big Bad Lez (Dies)

Villains:

  • Sharky Depravo (Dies)

Locations:

  • Sharky's Hideout
  • Cemetery

Vehicles:

  • Big Bad Lez's Bike

Notes

Trivia

  • Eddie G's Rusty S____ in the Eye Tavern advertises King Kirby on tap along with Mono Braü.
  • The floor of Lobo's interrogation chamber includes a bear trap, a box of nine inch nails (rusty), a CD of Nine Inch Nails: Broken, a CD of Kenny G, a book of Poems by Susan Polis Schwartz, a book by Lush Rimbaw, a comic titled The Big Fanny X-Men, a power drill, and a Jeff Stryker Monster Dildo.
  • The tombstones in the cemetery at the end read;
    • Big Bad Lez lies here, "Killed by deceit."
    • The Chump with No Name.
    • Zang'r the Khund "Shot by both sides."
    • Jonny Danzig "I'm sorry, Jonny, I needed the insurance." - Your loving wife, Maria.
    • Manwell Wellman "A well man no more." Backshot by his partner.
    • The Karaoke Kid "His high note was busted by a low flush... and an even lower agent!"
    • Jake the Galoot "Shot in the back."
    • Barrinton CLayz "His only crime ~ he trusted too much."
    • Superman's emblem "Oh. Wait. He's alive, sorry."
    • Barney "The kids got him."
    • Elvis "Accept it."
    • "Your name here."


See Also

Recommended Reading

Links and References
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