- Ain't scripts th' creeps here buy, Clyde. It's souls!
- — Lobo
Lobo Goes to Hollywood #1 is a one-shot with a cover date of August, 1996.
Synopsis for "Lobo Goes to Hollywood"
As soon as Lobo walks through the doors of Deadbeat's Bar, his fellow drinking buddies joke about him being rich and famous. Lobo has no idea what they're talking about until Deano shows him a copy of That's Entertainment! where the headline reads, "Lobo movie begins shooting." Furious that his name and image is being used without his permission - or receiving any cash - Lobo mounts his hawg and heads for Hollywood.
At Galactic Studios, Rabid Lynch is being advised by the studio accountant and lawyer. Knowing the budget is overblown and the film mediocre, they all fear for the financial future of the studio, deciding the only solution is to cash in on the large insurance policy covering accidental damage.
On set, the actor playing the role of Lobo, Sim Jary, ad libs pansy dialogue just as the real Lobo storms the set, assaulting the 'artist' for slandering his bad reputation. Immediately after taking care of his pantywaist doppelganger, he is fired upon - with real bullets - by an out of control stunt "RoboCop." Lobo returns fire, and once the gun smoke clears, he's revealed the last Main Man standing. Continuing on his quest to claim his royalties, Lobo confronts the director, Bim Turtle, who only babbles hypocrisy before he's punched across the room for his trouble.
'Bo then storms into the producer's office demanding his cut. Rabid Lynch claims there is nothing in the budget to give him, to which Lobo asks why the film is about him then. Lynch pleads ignorance, saying he only deals in concepts and that he would have to talk to the writer for specifics.
On his way to pound some answers out of the writer, Lobo once again encounters renegade stunt men using real weapons. He dispatches them efficiently and heads down to the dungeon where the writer is chained up. Right before Lobo caves in the identity thief's face, the writer shows him his original script. After reading it, th' Main Man approves. The writer explains he's forced to rewrite over and over, but the director and cast just do whatever they want anyway.
While watching the daily rushes, Lynch reveals to Turtle that he reprogrammed the robot and hired the stuntmen to sabotage the film as part of his insurance scam. Turtle, however, convinces Lynch that the footage they provided will be box office gold, so Lynch dials his phone to call off the giant robot he ordered. Before he can cancel the order, Lobo interrupts and ties all the bigwigs up, informing them he is now placing the writer in charge of his film. It's at this moment the producer's giant mechanical ape crashes through the wall. Programmed to destroy, it squishes the lawyer and accountant in it's hand before also grabbing hold of Lobo. About to be masticated, Lobo quickly throws three frag grenades into "Kong's" mouth. The explosion decapitates the robot gorilla and the severed head lands on the disgruntled writer.
A bus pulls up to the gates of the rubble that was previously Galactic Studios, and an aspiring writer greets Lobo with his optimistic dreams of success. Lobo imparts a little cynical wisdom of his own and leaves Hollywood with the headless primate.
Appearing in "Lobo Goes to Hollywood"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
- Rabid Lynch (Dies)
- Bim Turtle (Dies)
- Sim Jary (Dies)
- Studio Accountant (Dies)
- Studio Lawyer (Dies)
- The Writer (Dies)
Other Characters:
- Deadbeat
- Tusker
- Deano
- "Bill and Ted" (Dies)
- Stunt Crew
- "Terminator" (Dies)
- "Batman" (Dies)
- "Judge Dredd" (Dies)
- "RoboCop" Stunt Robot (Destroyed)
- "King Kong" Stunt Robot (Destroyed) (Partially)
- Aspiring Writer
- Kenny G (Mentioned only)
Locations:
- Deadbeat's Bar
- Hollywood
- Galactic Studios (Destroyed)
- Rabid Lynch's Office
- Lobo Film Set
- Writer's Dungeon
- Rushes Screening Room
- Galactic Studios (Destroyed)
Items:
- That's Entertainment!
- 747 Magnum
- Batarang
- Original "Lobo" Script
Vehicles:
Trivia
- Deadbeat has to wear a welding mask to prepare Lobo's "usual" beverage.
- A movie poster in Rabid Lynch's office reads, Gone with a Fart.
- The studio lawyer mentions, "Lobo is going to make Waterworld look like Heaven's Gate!" Two films notorious for being over-budget and flopping at the box office.
- The director, Bim Turtle, strongly resembles Tim Burton, whose name is a close spoonerism also. Burton directed Batman and the sequel, Batman Returns.
- Sim Jary is a possible spoonerism for Jim Carrey who played Riddler in Batman Forever.
- Parodies of film characters that appear include, RoboCop, Bill and Ted, The T-800 Terminator, Judge Dredd, Batman, and King Kong.
- The robotic "King Kong" only speaks in movie quotes from films such as, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Cool Hand Luke, The Empire Strikes Back, White Heat, Pulp Fiction and Citizen Kane.
- Lobo makes a remark about liking "...big apes as much as th' next DC character..." A gag referring to the numerous gorilla characters in the DCU.
See Also
Recommended Reading
- Lobo Recommended Reading
- Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious (Volume 1)
- Bob, the Galactic Bum (Volume 1)
- Lobo (Volume 1)
- Lobo (Volume 2)
- Lobo: A Contract on Gawd (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Death and Taxes (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Highway to Hell (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Infanticide (Volume 1)
- Lobo/Mask (Volume 1)
- Lobo's Back (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Unamerican Gladiators (Volume 1)
- Lobo Unbound (Volume 1)
- Lobo (One-Shots)