"The Stargaze Rally!, Part 2": With the preliminary heats over, Lobo spends the rest of the penultimate day binge drinking so much he has to get his stomach pumped.
- Friends -- bikers -- psychopaths -- lissen up! I ain't here ta watch no dummies racin'! Like, where were they when we wuz proppin' up bars an' pukin' an' fightin'? They ain't genuine bikers! they're semi-pros an' cash-crazy creeps! Th' real bikers -- namely us -- have been sidelined an' disqualified! I say we have our own fraggin' race, my well-oiled friends!
- — Lobo
Appearing in "The Stargaze Rally!, Part 2"
- Rufus McDoofus (Dies)
- The Tuff Girls
- Gelda Guy (Dies)
- Judge X (Dies)
- The Tattooed Samoans
- Sammy the Shammy (Dies)
- The Skelgang
- Rancid O'Habit (Dies)
- The Gripper (Only appearance; dies)
- Machineman Kelly (Dies)
- The Rolex Raiders
- Injured Lawyer (Unnamed)
- Dakoty State Police (All die)
- Barger (Mentioned only)
- Wet Willies Bar
- Mike Crichton Memorial Hospital
- The Cop Coop
- Shockwave Canyon
- The Slingback Corner
- Little Archie
- Devil's Tower
- The Magellanic Clouds (Mentioned only)
- Barger's World (Mentioned only)
- Choking Lizard Brew
- Lobo's Spacehog (With wheels)
Synopsis for "The Stargaze Rally!, Part 2"
With the preliminary heats over, Lobo spends the rest of the penultimate day binge drinking so much he has to get his stomach pumped.
Day seven arrives, and the finalists line up on the starting line. Machineman Kelly, Gelda Guy, Judge X, Rancid O'Habit, Sammy the Shammy, and "The Gripper" all prepare to race along New Road to the finish line atop Devil's Tower. Rufus McDoofus calls out to 'Bo who seems to be leaving, and questions why he isn't going to watch the race. Lobo is outraged that a bunch of pros get all the prizes and glory while the real bikers get sidelined. He proposes they have their own race along the Old Road to see who truly deserves to be called the winner. His impassioned speech is meet cheers of approval and gather at their own impromptu starting line.
As the race official reads the rules, holding the starting gun, Lobo fires his own firearm into the air in excitement, causing the a false start by the pro racers, as they run down the official in their premature frenzy. Lobo cues his fellow renegade racers to start also, crushing another official in their path trying to stop them. One of the victimised lawyers from the Rolex Raiders makes an anonymous call to the Dakoty State Police, alerting them to the illegal road race heading their way. The entire force heads out from the Cop Coop, aiming to create a road block at Threeroadsmeet.
In Shockwave Canyon, The Gripper leads the pros until Machineman Kelly clips his wheel, sending him careening violently into a crowd of spectators. At the Slingback, Sammy the Shammy takes the difficult corner expertly, leaning so far into the turn his face only inches from the ground. Gelda Guy calls out to him and me momentarily looks back to acknowledge her. She tells him not to lose his concentration just as he cracks his head on the surface, screeching to a fatal halt.
On the Old Road, Lobo and Rufus manage to jump a washed out portion of the track, but many of their fellow racers are not as fortunate and fill the dry riverbed in a mangled heap of flesh and metal for the rest of the pack to cross. Rufus spots the professional racers ahead and advises 'Bo they'll never catch up. Lobo disagrees, and sheds all his excess weight, handing Rufus all of his explosives to take care of and leaps forward.
The line State Police prepare to use deadly force on the approaching hooligans when they recognise the approaching bikers as the official racers. Confused, the officer in charge wonders where the degenerates are as Lobo charges through the barricade from behind.
As the official racers reach "Little Archie" Machineman Kelly manoeuvres between the leaders, Gelda and Rancid, pushing them both aside, sending them smashing into the rocky arch.
The police are now prepared for the rest of the rebel rousers heading their way and they open fire. The bikers return fire in a bloody onslaught until a stray bullet hits one of the mini-nukes Rufus was given, obliterating three hundred people instantly.
The remaining racers are starting their ascent of Devil's Tower when Judge X is pulled from his bike by a metal hook. Lobo speeds past, hot on the heels of Machineman Kelly. Kelly has one last trick up his sleeve and leaks oil onto the precarious mountain pass. Lobo skids out of control, plummeting over the edge, when he quickly catches his hook on an outcrop and swings himself back into the race. He soars over Kelly, landing directly onto the finishing marker to claim victory. The race official recognises the interloper as Lobo who was banned from the event last year and refuses to acknowledge his participation. Machineman Kelly boasts that he is still the greatest biker in the galaxy, but Lobo only cares about the outstanding warrant on Kelly from a minor offence in Barger's World. Kelly panics and tries to escape, forgetting about his own oil slick. Kelly loses traction and sails off the cliff to his death.
With the festivities over and his business concluded in Stargaze, Lobo pummels the obnoxious bouncers before leaving the the quiet, desert town in ruins, along with all the other surviving bikers who collect their helmets at the state line and wait for next years rally.
- No special notes.