"The Heiress, Part 3: Guns 'n' Roses!": As Slam City's criminal leaders toast their new boss, Darlene respectfully declines the title, not wanting to be a criminal herself. Lobo excuses her momentarily to take her aside and whisper a warning
- Is that all you think about -- sex? Get it through your head, Lobo -- a girl likes to be wined and dined! To be treated with a little respect, as a person in her own right! Don't even speak to me again until you've learned to behave!
- — Darlene
Appearing in "The Heiress, Part 3: Guns 'n' Roses!"
- Hank Koontz
- Bean Koontz
- Zulya Koontz
- Hagula Koontz
- Hiram Grabcash
- Slam City Police Department
- Police Chief
- I.M.A. Chiseler
- Inmate 0072971 (First appearance; unnamed)
- Jasper Koontz (Mentioned only)
- Dizzney Black Hole
- Slam City
- Slam City
- Al's Diner (Mentioned only)
Synopsis for "The Heiress, Part 3: Guns 'n' Roses!"
As Slam City's criminal leaders toast their new boss, Darlene respectfully declines the title, not wanting to be a criminal herself. Lobo excuses her momentarily to take her aside and whisper a warning that any sign of weakness in front of these people is a bad idea. He urges her to follow his lead.
On the opposite building, another mob of slam-dukers spies their target in the penthouse. Inside, the penthouse door flies open as the police chief storms in. Darlene immediately holds out her arms, turning herself in for being a crime lord for less than a day. The cops burst out laughing, only there to delivery the week's skim of a million credits to her. Darlene doesn't want anything to do with the dirty cash, so Lobo takes it on her behalf and tells them to double it next time.
Just as Lobo's beginning to enjoy the perks of Slam City, the slam-dunker assassins crash through the windows, guns blazing. Lobo shields Darlene while firing back, dropping them all until one strapped with explosives remains. Lobo lunges towards the suicide bomber and breaks the hand holding the detonator, kicking the goon out of the sky scraper window who explodes on impact with the distant ground. The police chief finds one alive and tries to interrogate him. Lobo helps loosen his tongue by piercing it with his hook and stretching it. The slam-dunker gives in and reveals he was hired by Hank and Bean Koontz. Lobo pushes him from the window also, ripping off his tongue.
The police chief sets out to apprehend the Koontz brothers, and Lobo, excited by all the action, turns to Darlene with yet another inappropriate proposition. Furious, Darlene reproaches Lobo, making it very clear that a woman wants to be treated as a person, with respect, and taken on a real date. She storms off, not wanting anything to do with him until he behaves. The sheepish Lobo answers a knock at the door and Hagula's lawyer tries to serve Darlene with a writ. Lobo interrupts him with his fist.
Later, in the Koontz family home, Hank and Bean are taking a bath together, acting out their frustrations with toys when the police chief barges in. The brothers are cuffed and marched out in their birthday suits, protesting their innocence. Their sister Zulya defends them, insisting they would never have somebody killed. Their grandmother Hagula has less faith in the two, stating they should have taken legal action like she did. Her lawyer arrives as the brothers leave, and Hagula asks if he's served Darlene with the writ. The battered man shuffles in, bent over, to show her where Lobo stuck the legal document.
As evening falls, Darlene is summoned by a knock on her door and greeted with a bouquet of red roses from a dapper Lobo in a dashing green tuxedo. He offers her his arm and escorts her to a restaurant, pulling out her chain and acting the perfect gentleman. By the end of the dinner, Darlene is completely smitten with the new, suave Lobo and expresses how wonderful the whole romantic evening was. Grinning proudly, Lobo asks if they can finally go to bed. Appropriately timed with a replacement engine being slammed into place, Darlene rams Lobo's flowers in his filthy mouth and escapes to the ladies room. She passes a female slam-dunker in the doorway, who grabs her from behind and holds a chloroform soaked cloth over her face. Darlene manages to call out for Lobo who hurries, thinking she's changed her mind about his carnal request. Two more slam-dunkers sitting at a table are prepared for her bodyguard and launch a missile at him. Lobo ducks the first approach, but it circles around without his knowledge. Passing just over his head, one of the stabilisers catches his collar and carries him around the dining room. He witnesses Darlene being extracted as the assassins try to detonated the bomb which starts chasing them from the premises. On the street, Darlene is stuffed into the trunk of at car and driven off, while the other hired killers take cover behind a taxi. It provides no protection when the projectile dragging Lobo hurtles into the cab and detonates.
When Lobo regains consciousness, he finds himself in stripes and shackles being transported alongside Hank and Bean. The two still claim they had nothing to do with the attacks on Darlene. Lobo turns to the police chief overseeing the prisoner transport and tells him to release him, as he works for the owner of Slam City. The chief refuses, as Ms. Spritzer has disappeared and another member of the cartel has taken control in her absence. The prisoners are led out to start their time on the chain gang. The chief demonstrates what happens when they don't cooperate, electrocuting all the linked convicts before sending them on to gruelling labour.
- Lobo's next publication appearance is Guy Gardner: Warrior #34, chronological is Lobo (Volume 2) #31.
- No trivia.