"2 Issues Before the Mast, Part 2: The Big Blow Hard": Lobo and Badlucky Happigo have managed to stay afloat in the behemoth's digestive fluids on a flotsam raft for ten days; however, the raft slowly decreases in size, eaten away by the stomach acid while Lobo himself becom
- Yer a harbinger o' doom, Badlucky -- so frag off an' harbinge fer some other chump!
- — Lobo
Synopsis for "2 Issues Before the Mast, Part 2: The Big Blow Hard"
Lobo and Badlucky Happigo have managed to stay afloat in the behemoth's digestive fluids on a flotsam raft for ten days; however, the raft slowly decreases in size, eaten away by the stomach acid while Lobo himself becomes increasingly hungry. Lobo eyes Badlucky greedily and draws his knife. Anxiously, Badlucky tries to deter his bloodthirsty companion with any excuse, but the Main Man has no sympathy for the jinxed geek that caused him to be in this predicament, and holds his blade to his throat. A large gas bubble bursts under the raft knocking Lobo back, just enough time for Badlucky to spot an approaching craft.
The small sail boat floats alongside the stranded strangers and the old, tattered sailor greets them, introducing himself as Ben Gunge who has survived the belly of the whale for fifty years. He notices their shrinking predicament and offers them a trade; they can join him in his boat if they share any food they have with him. Lobo flashes a sinister grin and tells old Ben they've just happened upon some food.
Later, Lobo jumps awake, thankful it was all just a dream. Relieved to not have been swallowed by a whale, he enjoys the tropical beach surroundings with unlimited booze brought to him by beautiful babes. As two of the lovely ladies kiss him, somebody calls out Lobo's name.
Lobo slowly opens his eyes to see Happigo standing over him. Badlucky explains that 'Bo feel asleep after eating Ben, instructing him to wake him if he came across anything interesting. Lobo turns to witness a huge pirate ship bearing down on them. He instantly recognises it as the "Gory Lady," captained by Blackbutt, the very pirate he was trying to collect a bounty on. Being ingested by a space whale at least explains why Lobo couldn't track them. Badlucky smiles and mentions he's not all bad luck.
Captain Blackbutt eyes the small vessel through his spyglass and is astounded to see what lengths the persistent bounty hunter is willing to go to. Nevertheless, he hauls the two on board to be tortured and eaten, and head back to their settlement at Skull Island. As they approach the macabre destination, Lobo questions how Happigo's luck is going to get them out of this situation. Badlucky stands up and tries to rationalise with one of the captors, warning them that he is a "Jonah" and will curse them with misfortune. One of the pirates bursts out laughing, asking how it could get worst after being swallowed by a whale. The laughter is silenced when the sailor's head is blown off.
Atop Skull Island, Captain Rehab announces that his crew have commandeered the skeletal sanctum, and the pirates have the choice of surrendering to his crew. Blackbutt doesn't even wait to hear the other option and unleashes a broadside barrage. The pirates swing across by rope to retake their base. Not wanting to miss out on the action, Lobo joins the fray, finding Mr. Queeg amongst the carnage. With a grudge to settle, Lobo ducks Queeg's first blow and retaliates by gouging his eyes and severing his arm, beating the man to death with his own limb. With Queeg dead, Blackbutt captures Captain Rehab and calls the whalers to desist, or he dies. Lobo sneaks up and knocks out Blackbutt from behind. Rehab falls to the ground but is saved by a member of his crew who dives to catch the jar. The brawl resumes and Lobo takes the opportunity to slip away in the chaos with his bounty. He opens a trapdoor but is followed by Badlucky. Lobo doesn't want to be around the jinx for a for another second and orders him to leave, just as the stairs give way under his feet.
Lobo slams into the ground, providing a soft landing for the heavyset Blackbutt, followed closely by Badlucky. Grabbing the cursed Happigo by the throat, Lobo is about get rid of his personal albatross when he notices they've fallen into the pirates' storeroom. With the means to escape and his bounty in tow, Lobo wonders if the idiot's luck has rubbed off on him. Noticing the gas cylinders from the whaling ship, Lobo is inspired with a solution to the behemoth problem. Creating an electrical current, Lobo lowers the circuit into the stomach acid, creating a gas. He retrieves a dinghy and sets a frag grenade with a one hour charge. He tells Badlucky to enjoy the explosion as he leaps into the boat, but Happigo jumps in after him.
They paddle further down into the behemoth's bowls until, deep in the intestines, Lobo hears the rumble he's been waiting for. The gas build up has reached a critical point and the small row boat is propelled out of the space whale by a thunderous fart. Lobo exclaims luck was on both their sides there until he slams into an asteroid, while Badlucky Happigo continues onward with Lobo's bounty.
Time is up for the bloated behemoth who swells with gas, fuelling the massive explosion even more. As a spray of blubber radiates out into the cosmos, Lobo catches the jar containing Captain Rehab, content with the fact that at least he won't go hungry.
Appearing in "2 Issues Before the Mast, Part 2: The Big Blow Hard"
- Badlucky Happigo
- Behemoth (Final appearance; dies)
- Space Pirates (Single appearance; die)
- Captain Blackbutt (Single appearance)
- Whaling Crew of "The Mutiny" (Final appearance; die)
- Captain Rehab (Final appearance)
- Mr. Queeg (Final appearance; dies)
- Ben Gunge (Only appearance; dies)
- Nelly (Mentioned only)
- Alan Grant (Mentioned in a dream only)
- Inside the Behemoth. (Destroyed)
- Skull Island (Destroyed)
- Vacation Island (In dream sequence only)
- Sandy Bay (Mentioned only)
- The Journal of Badlucky Happigo
- The Gory Lady (Destroyed)
- Ben Grunge is a reference to Ben Gunn.