Bounty huntin's maybe a risky job, Jonas -- but I swear it don't touch on bein' a restaurateur! 
- — Lobo
Lobo (Volume 2) #49 is an issue of the series Lobo (Volume 2) with a cover date of March, 1998.
Synopsis for "Don Alfonzo's Dinner"
At the fine dining restaurant Planet Al's, Al does his best to refuse Lobo's request to go undercover as a waiter with Jonas to capture a wanted criminal, as Al has a very important reservation for the evening. His pleas are shrugged off by the bounty hunters with Lobo guaranteeing there will be no violence. Jonas explains that Roach Magee, who's tied to a chair in the kitchen, confessed that Don Alfonzo was holding a Mafia meeting at the restaurant tonight. Al is mortified to find out his major customer is their target, even more so when they put the giant roach informant in the meat freezer. Lobo tries to calm Al by mentioning he's eaten plenty of guys like Roach Magee, and that if he's concerned about hygiene, he can always sterilize him in boiling water.
Adamant he can play the part, Lobo grabs a bottle of Chateau de Chablis from Darlene and pours a taste for the diner to approve. The snooty customer rejects the wine, proclaiming it's corked. Lobo chugs the whole bottle and belches, claiming it tastes great to him. The customer asks for another and Lobo obliges, returning with a new bottle which he forces in the pretentious diner's ear until the neck comes out the other. Lobo tilts the the man's head to the side to fill his horrified wife's glass.
A customer urgently calls Jonas over to his table to point out that there is a fly in his soup. Jonas hushes the diner and removes the insect from his entrée, eating it himself. He leaves telling the gentleman not to tell, as everyone will want one. The diner vomits into his napkin.
Lobo delivers a cake to a large family table, but the birthday boy becomes upset that there is no singing and his father demands his money's worth. Lobo once more adheres to the guest's wishes and starts singing Happy Birthday, finishing triumphantly by smooshing the boy's face into the cake.
Jonas pulls 'Bo aside after seeing a squat alien with odd markings running down the length of his body, expressing his suspicions that it's Don Alfonzo in disguise. Lobo intercepts the alien and examines the strand of hair on his forehead. The Centauran politely explains that it's his "tuft," a symbol of honour in his culture. Lobo says it looks more like a zipper and yanks on it brutally, revealing nothing inside but innards. The two misfits quietly bandage the vivisected patron together and seat him at a table.
As diners start walking out the door, Al frets that Lobo is going to ruin yet another business. Darlene assures Al there will be no violence, and she's seen to it that the boys will keep their promise. Momentarily relieved, Al is soon approached by the man who had the fly in his soup, who announces himself as Dave Ricker, restaurant inspector. Inviting himself into the kitchen to look around, Ricker opens the door to the meat storage to find himself facing the frosty Roach Magee, who asks if he's here to beat him up too. Ricker demands to know what's going on before Lobo knocks him out with a frying pan and hangs him up with the meat.
Jonas calls to 'Bo to prepare the "turkey" as their target has arrived. Al greets Don Alfonzo at the entrance and seats him at his usual table. Before Darlene can tend to them, the boys run out of the kitchen with a large dining cart.
Back in the refrigeration room, Ricker regains consciousness and makes a call to the Association of Restaurant Inspectors Armed Division to rescue him.
At Don Alfonzo's table, Lobo presents the Mafia boss with a special course and removes the enormous cloche to reveal the frozen Roach Magee. The two bounty hunters draw their weapons on the Don, but he just grins smugly and dares them to shoot, knowing that the warrant needs him alive. Al buries his face in his hand, just knowing there is going to be a scene, but Darlene smirks, having stolen their ammo when they weren't looking. Lobo decides to wound the Don instead, only to be met with the hollow click of their ineffective triggers. The gangsters all draw their weapons and open fire as Lobo and Jonas dive behind the kitchen pass. Agitated, Al reminds Lobo of his promise about no violence. Lobo puts all the blame on the ammo thief, and Darlene confesses to hiding it in the microwave.
Outside the restaurant, the Association of Restaurant Inspectors Armed Division (ARIAD) announce themselves, only to be fired upon by the Mafia.
Inside the kitchen, the microwave filled with ammunition has been activated by a stray bullet. Lobo acts quickly and tosses the volatile oven through the roof, just as the ARIAD team try to storm the building from above. The explosion propels the bodies into the dining room, distracting the Mafia long enough for the bounty hunters to take them out by throwing cutlery. With ARIAD bureaucrats dead, their assault vehicle launches a missile into the building to end the conflict swiftly. Everyone ducks as the rocket flies over their heads into the kitchen, where it makes a beeline for Dave Ricker hanging helplessly in the freezer. The blast demolishes Planet Al's.
Sitting on a pile of rubble, Lobo explains the whole incident was caused by the mobsters who were all impaled in the explosion. Jonas brings 'Bo a bottle of booze, complementing him on another nice job. Al looks at the remains of his once beautiful restaurant and approaches Lobo, hoping his insurance will cover the damage. 'Bo is doubtful, seeing as it was Darlene who blew up the ammo and ARIAD that blew up the building, but for helping them out, he tells Al he'll buy him dinner with the reward money for Don Alfonzo.
A mysterious customer, who has managed to dine through the entire experience, steps towards Al holding his bill. He compliments the chef on the meal but complains that the price is ridiculous and he won't pay it. Without a word, Al punches the client to the ground and kicks him on the ground. Lobo and Jonas drag away their bounty, thankful the bounty hunting business isn't as risky as being a restaurateur.
Appearing in "Don Alfonzo's Dinner"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
Antagonists:
- Roach Magee (Single appearance; dies)
- Mafia Gang (Only appearance; all die)
- Don Alfonzo Alonzo Delonzo Linguine (Single appearance; dies)
Other Characters:
- Snooty Diner (Single appearance; dies)
- Snooty Diner's Wife (Single appearance)
- Dave Ricker, Restaurant Inspector (Single appearance; dies)
- Association of Restaurant Inspectors Armed Division (Single appearance)
- Birthday Party (Single appearance)
- Centauran Diner (Single appearance)
- Cheap Diner (Single appearance)
- Bruce Willy (Poster only)
- Steven C. Gal (Poster only)
- The Great Arnoldo (Poster only)
- Hemi Moore (Poster only)
Locations:
- Planet Al's (Destroyed)
Items:
Vehicles:
- ARIAD Assault Vehicle
Notes
- The acronym on the Association of Restaurant Inspectors Armed Division's assault vehicle and uniforms are mistakenly written as "ARAID."
Trivia
- Planet Al's is a pastiche of Planet Hollywood.
- Besides the named posters of stars endorsing Planet Al's, there is also an unnamed image that resembles Sylvester Stallone.
See Also
Recommended Reading
- Lobo Recommended Reading
- Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious (Volume 1)
- Bob, the Galactic Bum (Volume 1)
- Lobo (Volume 1)
- Lobo (Volume 2)
- Lobo: A Contract on Gawd (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Death and Taxes (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Highway to Hell (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Infanticide (Volume 1)
- Lobo/Mask (Volume 1)
- Lobo's Back (Volume 1)
- Lobo: Unamerican Gladiators (Volume 1)
- Lobo Unbound (Volume 1)
- Lobo (One-Shots)