"The Hunting Party, Part 1: Funeral for a Feeb!": The notorious Janes Gang assaults a Spaceborne Express van in an attempt to assassinate the driver, who seems to have luck on his side, as Jane Mansfield's bullets ricochet off the vehicle and wound Plain Jane. But Jane Saddiction is relentless,
- Ya brung this on yerselves, babes! Me, I consider it a tragic fraggin' waste! I ain't been in a foursome since I dated Triplicate Girl.
- — Lobo
Appearing in "The Hunting Party, Part 1: Funeral for a Feeb!"
- Badlucky Happigo
- Mr. Bigbutnice (First appearance)
- Little Miss Goodasgold (First appearance)
- Captain Yodel (First appearance)
- Super-Rev (First appearance)
- The Janes Gang
- Jane Mansfield (Only appearance; dies)
- Jane Saddiction (Only appearance; dies)
- Plain Jane (Only appearance; dies)
- Jane Doe (Only appearance; dies)
- The Goldstar Fan Club (First appearance; unnamed)
- The Morituri Brothers (Only appearance; all die)
- Goldstar (As an illusion only)
- Undertaker (Single appearance)
- Boyscoutman (First appearance; deceased; as a tombstone only)
- Puppydog (Deceased; tombstone only)
- Goodman (Deceased; tombstone only)
- Good-Boy (Deceased; tombstone only)
- Behemoth (Space Whale) (Mentioned only)
- Triplicate Girl (Mentioned only)
- Barella's Bar
- Mosh Brew
- Electromagnetic Generator (Unnamed)
- Lobo's Spacehog (With wheels; destroyed)
- Spaceborne Express Van
Synopsis for "The Hunting Party, Part 1: Funeral for a Feeb!"
The notorious Janes Gang assaults a Spaceborne Express van in an attempt to assassinate the driver, who seems to have luck on his side, as Jane Mansfield's bullets ricochet off the vehicle and wound Plain Jane. But Jane Saddiction is relentless, and manages to shoot out one of the wheels. The Janes Gang orders the driver to step out, but the ladies are caught off guard when Lobo announces himself behind them, brandishing a dead or alive warrant. He offers them a choice to surrender to his charm or his gun, of which they choose the latter.
A little disappointed in having to frag four femme fatales, Lobo tells the driver he was anonymously hired to protect to protect it's safe to come out. With no response the Main Man gets impatient and approaches the door which swings open, slamming into his head. Really riled, Lobo plans to give the ungrateful bastich a piece of his mind, only to recognise Badlucky Happigo behind the wheel. Now absolutely furious, Lobo is determined to exact revenge for all the trouble the cursed dweeb caused him with the behemoth. Badlucky implores him to wait, as he has a delivery for him, which he bends down to fetch just as Lobo swings his fist, punching the van instead. Badlucky emerges with an invitation to Goldstar's funeral at Heropolis, which Lobo thinks it will be a laugh.
Badlucky recovers the wheel that was damaged but accidentally drops it, and the tyre bounces into the door which slams shut on Lobo's hand. Having had enough of Badlucky's inherent misfortune, Lobo puts a gun to the harbinger of misery's head. Badlucky faints at the sight of the massive weapon as Lobo pulls the trigger, causing the shells to miss, ricochet off a rock, and blow up his hawg. Enraged, Lobo starts to attack the living bad luck charm with his bare hands. His victim tries to make the monster see reason, informing 'Bo that he's now the only way out of the desert. Lobo plans on stealing his van, but Badlucky points out that it's voice activated for security measures so only he can drive it. Lobo tests out his claim, and is electrocuted, followed by being thumped on the head for his trouble. Badlucky anxiously asks if Lobo will help change the wheel.
With the Spaceborne Express van repaired, the two reluctant companions leave the frontier planet, knocking out a prospector who just struck gold. Badlucky explains he has one last delivery to make before he drops Lobo off at the funeral. A delivery he was only told to make if Lobo happened to be with him.
Elsewhere, in Barella's Bar, three dandies walk in and order milk. The barkeep refuses their sissy request and they ask for club sodas instead. Not long after, Badlucky enters the bar, inadvertently crushing an elderly man behind the door, announcing a delivery for the Morituri brothers. The three flamboyant gentlemen accept the telegram, signalling them to make their move. They pray to the gods of good and fairness that their target doesn't rough them up too much. One of the brothers approaches Lobo, who is taking a much needed drink at the bar, and slaps him on the back of the head. Lobo retaliates by smashing a bottle across his assailants face and the three Morituri brothers surround him. As Lobo brawls, Badlucky watches a man play the slot machine in at the back of the bar. 'Bo cracks two of the boys' heads together and tosses them aside, right into the innocent bystander playing the one-armed bandit which pays out the jackpot. Badlucky scoops up the winnings as Lobo punches a karaoke microphone into the back of the remaining brother's throat. One brother continues to fight, biting into Lobo's leg. The Main Man simply crushes his skull under his boot, before ordering another drink. Badlucky chases after a runaway token on the floor, bumping into Lobo who imbibes the whole bottle.
Having not read the telegram, Badlucky can't tell Lobo what the strange occurrence the just experienced was about, so they head off once more, with Lobo directing him to stop for get some new clothes first. Back in the bar, the last living, mangled Morituri manages to confirm their mission was successful over a communication device before expiring. A mysterious gathering of cloaked and hooded men prepare for the Czarnian's arrival.
The Spaceborne Express van swoops down to land at the Heropolis cemetery, clipping the gate on its way which falls on the unsuspecting security guard. Lobo exits the van, respectfully dressed in a black suit and red tie, only to have "Good riddance Goldstar" printed on the back of his jacket. The sight of all the goody-goody supercheez memorials makes him physically sick, vomiting on the graves of Boyscoutman and Puppydog. He is rebuked by the heroes that have come to honour Goldstar, but Lobo is just excited to bury his nemesis and get to the wake. The undertaker finishes digging the grave, tossing a shovelful of dirt that flies over Badlucky's head as he bends over to pluck a flower, hitting Lobo instead. Lobo boots the undertaker into the empty grave just as the pallbearers approach sombrely. 'Bo trips Super-Rev leading the procession, causing a pileup that launches the coffin forward, slamming into the undertaker climbing out of the grave. Captain Yodel gets upset with the disrespectful Czarnian, but is calmed down as Super-Rev gives his eulogy.
After the service, Goldstar's fellow heroes drop flowers into his grave, whereas Lobo spits on it. The gathering leaves for the gazebo for refreshments, while Lobo hangs behind until the undertaker has filled the grave so he can dance on it. But he is not alone, as a hooded congregation lurks in the shadows, disgusted by his display of sacrilege. One of the shady figures produces a remote control and activates their plan. Lobo stops revelling when a hand bursts up from the barely settled earth, and glares incredulously as Goldstar erupts from the ground alive!
- There is a series of mini-strips throughout this issue entitled Short and Snappy Tales of Death. It is uncertain if these can be considered chapters from the book or not.
- Lobo mentions having a foursome with Triplicate Girl, however this issue takes place after the events of Zero Hour when Luornu was known as Triad.
- No trivia.
- Badlucky Happigo