I'm a hero on a mission! I have no time for gratuitous sex! 
- — Superbo
Lobo (Volume 2) #60 is an issue of the series Lobo (Volume 2) with a cover date of March, 1999.
Synopsis for "The All-New, Non-Violent Adventures of Superbo!, Part 1: The New Bo"
Outraged by the review of his ongoing series in Wizard, Lobo rips the inflammatory magazine in two, and plans to frag the bastiches who wrote it. The Great Carlini tries to reason with Lobo. Concerned about the current state of the comics industry and not willing to alienate the fan press, the executive editor informs the belligerent bounty hunter that they are taking his series in a new direction.
Carlini leads Lobo down the hall from his office to the makeover department, where an artist, Harold Hack, first gives the rugged, uncouth lout a more heroic costume to match his new persona, Superbo! After a wash, a shave, and a haircut, the reinvented Main Man prepares to pound everyone involved with his cleaner image. Carlini stops him, pointing out that he's not just getting a makeover on the surface, but he will also be far less violent from now on. A more cerebral based hero.
Lobo loses it, shouting bloody murder at the very idea, until Carlini mentions he's cutting out his cussing, too. He opens a door to a small, windowless room where scriptwriter Grant types shackled to a desk, a series of wires attached to his head. Carlini points out how the writer will be electrocuted whenever Lobo is overtly violence, rude, or unfunny. The writer tries to voice his concern about the arrangement, but is soon silenced as Carlini gives him a dose of the old Edison medicine, prompting Superbo to speak in uncharacteristically cheerful, caring rhetoric. Satisfied with the changes, Carlini assigns Superbo his first mission. He hands the hero some scandalous photographs of DC's flagship characters doing things that would ruin their reputations. Superbo drools over the images of Wonder Woman and Catwoman, until Grant is sent another sharp jolt to the system. Carlini sends Superbo out to uncover the blackmailer behind these phoney images and bring him to justice. Superbo assures him he will beat a confession from the one responsible, then frag him fraggin' useless. Grant receives another sharp shock, and a much more righteous Superbo vows to find the wrongdoer.
Before the new and improved Lobo can begin, Carlini pairs him up with Dan Raspler to make sure Superbo stays on the straight and narrow. Raspler escorts Superbo outside to his new transportation; a small motorcycle with a sidecar. Superbo mounts the lame vehicle while Raspler takes the sidecar, and the group editor asks how the hero plans to solve the crime. Superbo's powers detected fingerprints on the photos, from which he could ascertain that the perp is missing a finger. Grant is once again zapped when his protagonist suggests breaking into the nearest police headquarters to check their files, but is encouraged by Raspler to utilise his powers of deduction instead. Superbo miraculously narrows 323 criminals down to Four-Finger Felix. On the journey, Raspler explains that fans crave tender moments between the action to make the hero more relatable. Superbo asks if they also want naked women, to which Raspler concedes they do, but only in context. Superbo parks in front of a strip club, claiming it to be within context of the story.
The burly bouncer named Bubba manning the door, abruptly tells the pair the club is for members only. Superbo confirms with Raspler that Grant gets a shock whenever he acts violently, then attacks the doorman mercilessly with no sympathy for the tortured writer. Inside, Superbo ogles the entertainment while Raspler asks his companion if he's come here for a lead. Superbo sends another current coursing through Grant when he admits he's only here to get lucky. Before they leave, a half-naked woman runs into the somewhat familiar Lobo, reminding him of the weekend they once spent together. The pseudo-supercheez leers lustfully at Pectoria, hoping to relive the past, but the reconditioned writer quickly corrects his character's conduct, and forces Superbo to politely refuse the woman, asking her instead if she knows the whereabouts of Felix. She happens to know he hangs out at the Tough Guyz Tavern, and Superbo gallantly kisses the maiden's hand as thanks, bending down just as the vengeful Bubba dives at his assailant with a knife. Bubba accidentally overshoots his target and stabs a patron in the chest.
Without delay, Superbo grabs hold of Dan Raspler and flies off to find Felix. Raspler commends Superbo for meeting the fans' requirements so far. Superbo inquires what else the fans like, and Raspler begins rambling about merchandise and action figures, as they land outside of Al's NY. Superbo suggests they grab a quick beer, but not only is his minder against heroes imbibing alcohol, he doesn't want the repetitive, mindless destruction of yet another Al's establishment.
Superbo takes Raspler's advice and they cross the street to the Tough Guyz Tavern. Inside the seedy bar, they find Felix "Four-Fingers" Flagrante fighting in a four-way brawl. The reformed anti-hero excuses himself as he intrudes on the blunt weapon melee, kindly asking for a word with Felix. The four thugs stop fighting each other and a gang up on the interloper instead, beating him savagely. Raspler calls out from the ringside, letting the imbecile know that he can defend himself. Superbo turns the tables instantly, taking out three men with one swing of a sledgehammer before dragging Felix towards the bar. He pins the suspected blackmailer against the wall with one hand and smashes a bottle, holding it to Felix's neck. Raspler runs over and wrests the broken bottle from the so-called hero, telling him to use his brain instead. Superbo takes this very literally, and unzips his skull to reveal his actual brain, which reaches out with gray matter tendrils, intimidating the criminal. The disgusting tactic works, and Felix admits that he was only a courier for the pictures, the madman behind it threatened his family and friends if he didn't. Once he's sure Superbo won't kill him, Felix decides to reveal who is behind the scheme, but before he can utter the words, Felix is executed. Shot clean through the forehead. Raspler spots a hooded figure fleeing the scene and starts after him. Superbo holds the overeager editor back, assuring him that he has the murderer's scent.
Back in in the writer's room, the Great Carlini reads over the latest page produced. He acknowledges a few inconsistencies and scenes lacking story, but he admits Grant is making progress. The scriptwriter mindlessly obeys his master, sustaining a few more volts of encouragement as Carlini leaves suggesting a classic cliffhanger ending.
Superbo follows his nose through a back alley with Raspler, only to walk into an ambush by the Savage Six!
Appearing in "The All-New, Non-Violent Adventures of Superbo!, Part 1: The New Bo"
Featured Characters:
- Lobo/Superbo (First appearance as Superbo)
Supporting Characters:
Antagonists:
- Felix "Four-Fingers" Flagrante (Single appearance; dies)
- Truckwreck Higgins (Single appearance)
- "Iron Mike" Burlay (Single appearance)
- The Mangler (Single appearance)
- Bubba (Single appearance)
- The Savage Six (First appearance)
- Braincell (First appearance; unnamed)
- Broozer (First appearance; unnamed)
- Chiquita (First appearance; unnamed)
- Demi-Urge (First appearance; unnamed)
- Razorslice (First appearance; unnamed)
- Sincopator (First appearance; unnamed)
- The Evil Hooded Guy (First appearance; unnamed)
Other Characters:
- Harold Hack (Single appearance)
- Pectoria (Single appearance)
- Darlene (Cameo in Wizard Magazine only)
- Dawg (Cameo)
- Superman (Mentioned only)
- Baman (Mentioned only)
- The Flash (Mentioned only)
- Wonder Woman (Mentioned only)
- Catwoman (Mentioned only)
Locations:
- New York City
- DC Comics Offices, 1700 Broadway
- Sunset Strip
- Al's NY
- Tough Guyz Tavern
- Mambo Motel (Mentioned only)
Concepts:
Items:
Vehicles:
- Superbo's Bike and Sidecar.
Notes
- Dawg makes a cameo appearance in the DC offices, stuffed into a bin labelled "comic limbo." Dawg was killed in Lobo (Volume 2) #58.
Trivia
- Superbo can fly. It's uncertain why he needed the bike if this was possible.
See Also