- We had powers, you know? Not like today, when even the kid heroes are all steriod-pumped and badass, but they were powers all right. Differences, things that made us feel special.
- -- Baby Brain
Appearing in "Sex Secrets of the Newsboy Army!"
- Newsboy Army (Flashback and main story)
Synopsis for "Sex Secrets of the Newsboy Army!"
At some point in the 1940s, a millionaire newspaperman died in New York, leaving his business and his money to his dog, Millions. Under unknown circumstances, the dog became the patron of a gang of children who worked as paper-sellers. The children decided to use the money to investigate crimes and have adventures, and then write about them in their paper.
One day, the Army was alerted when a friend of theirs, Mo Colley, killed a group of cops. When the team had confronted him, he plead for help, but was able to snap out of his trance. Mo pulled something off his neck, revealed to be a "Sheeda Spine-Rider", which had been steering him. Mo apologized to the group as he was killed by the police.
As Baby Brain studied the specimen, reports had come out of "Killer Fairies" haunting Slaughter Swamp. The group decided to go, even though Millions stayed behind due to his old age.
Venturing into Slaughter Swamp, the Newsboy Army had entered a mysterious house, and were confronted by "The Terrible Time Tailor". The Tailor explained that he makes "special clothes", "suits that they would wear when they were older".
One by one, the Tailor altered their destinies, turning them into homeless wizards, reclusive millionaires, mass murderers, and faded alcoholics. Two of the members had died; Millions of old age, and Suzi at the hands of her teammate "Captain", who had raped and murdered her before being killed by Kid Scarface and stuffed into Ali-Ka Zoom's cabinet.
As Ed finishes, the building loses power, which he believes was caused by the Sheeda. Jake refuses to get involved with this "Alien Invasion", but changes his mind when Stargard tells him that Larry wanted him to become this hero and save the world.
With the Sheeda invasion underway, Jake suits up, and goes into battle.
- This book was first published on September 8, 2005.
- This is part 15 of the Mega-series "Seven Soldiers of Victory". Continued in Klarion #4.
- In the flashback, Ali-Ka Zoom mentions an ally named "El Mar". Later in the issue, Ed reveals to Jake that El Mar was actually a nickname for "Larry Marcus", Carla's father.
- Ed mentions that the "Gold house" had become unhinged from time and space like "Miracle Mesa", as well as "Six Soldiers" who had died there.
- In the flashback, Gloriana is seen speaking to a mirror, reminiscent of the "Evil Queen" and "Magic Mirror" from the Snow White tale. The mirror tells her a prophecy, "Seven will come, by roads unseen, unknown. And end the Queen of Terror's reign with a Spear that was never thrown."
- In the flashback, The Terrible Time Tailor takes Ali-Ka Zoom's top hat, which he appears to use in his other appearances.
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