"G.I. Zombie": At Eli's Joint, a bar in Mississippi, a woman named Tiff finds herself the target of attention from a local named Duke, who notes that nobody around seems to know her. She responds that she just moved recently, and is living with her sister and boyfriend, but looking for new f
- Fine. Shoot a guy and then be modest. I wonder if this gets TCM?
- -- G.I. Zombie
Appearing in "G.I. Zombie"
- Eli's Joint
Synopsis for "G.I. Zombie"
At Eli's Joint, a bar in Mississippi, a woman named Tiff finds herself the target of attention from a local named Duke, who notes that nobody around seems to know her. She responds that she just moved recently, and is living with her sister and boyfriend, but looking for new friends who like to have fun. Duke remarks that the locals might be too rough for her liking, and warns her to get out while she can. Intrigued, she challenges him to a pool game instead. After winning the game and ingratiating herself with some of the other locals, Tiff admits to Duke that she was in prison on account of her special skills.
The flirtation is interrupted when Duke's companions warn him that they've caught an FBI agent out front. After securing the bar, Duke warns Tiff to leave, but she claims claims that she is eager to see them take the agent down, given that she was put in prison by a man like him. Duke's companion Eddie suggests that Tiff might actually be working with the agent - or she's telling the truth. Unsure, Duke warns that he'll shoot her hisself if she's not.
Taking the queue, Tiff walks up to the agent and sits in his lap, tearing the duct-tape from his mouth. He insists that he won't talk, and she warns that she'll castrate him if he doesn't. He spits in her face, and she promises to make good on her threat. Armed with a raincoat and a machete, she asks him again. He tells her to go to hell, and so she has the others hold his arms down while she cuts off his hands.
Even still, he refuses to talk, and smirks that he's making her look bad. Knowing he's not going to say anything, she takes the gun from Duke's belt, and fires three shots into the agent's head. The others stand horrified, and she reacts with nonchalance, suggesting that they enlist someone to clean the blood out of the bar. Grinning, Duke decides they should be friends. She takes the body in her own trunk and excuses herself, rather than stay with Duke overnight. Disappointed, he offers her an address to meet him tomorrow night, and she drives off.
On the road, Tiff has to stop suddenly to throw up, but she resumes her journey to her motel, where she drags the body into her room and begins unwrapping it. Grinning, G.I. Zombie comments that she's supposed to be Carmen King, stone-cold soldier of fortune. He hadn't expected that chopping off his hands would make her so queasy. He had been the one who had to swallow all that pig's blood. Grumpily, Carmen responds that this mission is giving her the creeps.
She had been assigned a partnership with G.I. Zombie by the D.O.D., but it's not as though she'd know what to expect when she took it. Uncomfortably, she places his hands next to their stumps and watches as the muscles bind and the appendages reattach themselves. He reminds that he didn't get to choose her either. He serves the people of the United States, and lives by the military's values. The mission always comes first. Carmen reminds that she knows the soldier's creed, interrupting him as she begins undressing for her shower. When she realizes he's watching her, she retreats to the bathroom, prompting him to remark that it seems hypocritical to shoot him in the head, and then be modest.
Returning from her shower, Carmen relegates G.I. Zombie - who insists that she call him by his name: Jared - to sleeping on the floor, warning him not to leave the room at any point. As soon as she's fallen asleep, though, he steps out into the night and begins walking. At a nearby gas station, a road-tripping couple argues over the fact that the father's abusive behaviour led to their daughter's peeing herself in the back seat. He had refused to pull over for her after she'd asked hours ago. Angrily, the husband attacks his wife, and she begs him to stop. Suddenly, she screams as she sees the zombie approaching from behind. Angrily, he attacks the father and tears his arm from its socket before biting into the man's throat, all while his daughter watches stonily. Worriedly, Jared warns the mother and daughter to escape before he turns on them as well, dragging the body into the woods to finish feeding.
In the morning, Carmen demands to know where he was, pointing out that he could at least have changed his bloody shirt if he was going to sneak out. After applying his makeup, the pair leave in search of breakfast, and Jared reminds of what they know about their mission. The rifle used by a naval base shooter was acquired from Duke, and was once part of a lot of six rifles stolen from the Redstone Arsenal in Alabama - and because it's the only one that's turned up, Duke probably still has the other five. Distracted by eating while driving, Carmen hits a deer and swerves into a tree.
Fortunately, Carmen is unhurt, and Jared carries off the fawn to return it to its mother, or so he claims. Carmen fails to reach a towing company in the meantime, and Jared suggests that she should follow him. He smelled the horses from the farm they believe the guns are being kept in - and from a vantage point, he reveals that Duke and his biker gang have got themselves involved with Patriot Missiles.
- This book was first published on July 23, 2014.
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