Er... Excusings. Am being Thing-That-Cannot-Die, seeker of virtues, soon to be rewardings! 
- — The Thing-That-Cannot-Die src
The Thing-That-Cannot-Die is an immortal goblin who, like many other supernatural creatures during the reign of King Arthur, was exiled to the Beyond Region by Merlin.
History
It was here that The Thing encountered Jason Blood and Etrigan after they too were banished by Klarion the Witch Boy.
Beyond Region
The Thing, after centuries of banishment, knew the only way out of the Beyond Region was to be virtuous. Admitting he was not a good Thing on Earth, he did everything he could to redeem himself, a difficult task when being hunted for sport by Wotan and the Wild Hunt.
When he literally ran into the exiled Etrigan - in the body of Jason Blood - his good nature was put to the ultimate test. Fortunately Blood - in The Demon's form - saw a use for the strange outcast.[1] It was fortunate that Klarion had banished the soul of Wonder Woman also. Diana saw good in the Thing and shared with him the secret to escaping the prison dimension. Only those with pure intent can see the "golden thread" which leads to the exit. Wonder Woman could see it instantly while Thing could not, but she insisted that if he continued in his righteous ways, he would be able to.[2] She was right. When Thing saved Blood from the Wild Hunt, it allowed him to see the path of virtue which they followed to the castle of Lord Scapegoat.[3]
Etrigan's half brother welcomed them in with open arms, thinking they were reunited for eternity. Despite his affable nature, Blood and Thing slipped away given their first chance, to the bowels of the castle where the path of virtue ended and the Golden Knight stood guard.[4] Protector of the exit, the ethereal sentinel judge the souls of those who wished to leave, failing to pass meant death. Thing was judged and found pure, while Blood in demon form, was not. Blood insisted Thing continue without him. It was in the final room that Thing met the true guardian of the Beyond Region, Sir Percival, Knight of the Round Table betrayed by Merlin to be his immortal servant. Sir Percival gave Thing the ritual spell to escape, which he immediately took to show Jason Blood. Unfortunately, Thing was met by Etrigan who bludgeoned him to death with a rock, taking the spell. Thing revived just in time to meet Etrigan at the open portal home, where he appealed to The Demon to take him as well. Etrigan cruelly kicked the Thing away and laughed at his misery.[5]
Hell
The Thing was not the only one heartbroken by Etrigan's actions. Lord Scapegoat, disconsolate at the indifference of his beloved brother, locked himself away. His absence upset the delicate balance, allowing Wotan to raid his castle in a desperate gambit to escape the distorted reality of a dimension in constant flux. Thing watched on as Wotan's forces met the might of the Golden Knight. In the confusion, Thing saw his chance to escape, but in the ensuing battle of magic, combined with an unstable dimension, Thing was teleported from the Beyond Region to a worse place, Hell.[6]
Thing arrived just after Etrigan had left, robbed of his chance to rule after overthrowing the triumvirate. Thing saw the heart of Belial that Etrigan had ripped from his father's chest. He stole it and escaped to a place no Hellions could reach him, the Impenetrable Fortress of Flyn. Here he stayed until the Three Dudes - Etrigan, Lobo and Morax - found him, seeking the purloined heart. Thing sheepishly explained that in his starvation, he ate it.[6] Etrigan was able to conjure a replacement using the Eternity Book,[7] but not before Morax and Lobo put the Thing-That-Cannot-Die's name to the test.[8] Thing joined the Three Dudes on the remainder of their quest, which became an asset as he gained magical powers from consuming Belial's heart and wrought his revenge on Merlin. To add insult to injury, Thing also ingested Merlin's prized possession, his Eternity Book. With the quest over Etrigan and Lobo, set off back to Earth. To leave via the Gates of Hell however, Lobo was required to take on the guardian beast alone, as Etrigan's demonic powers were no good against it. The beast was too much even for the Main Man, but Thing revealed himself from hiding and offered to help, in exchange for a ride back home. Etrigan agreed and swore a blood oath that he would not betray him like last time. Thing provided ample distraction, allowing Lobo to finish off the guardian. Sadly, Thing put his trust in the wrong people again, he sobbed as they deserted him to the Inferno.[9]
Powers and Abilities
Powers
- Immortality: Thing has true immortality. He always revives if gravely harmed.
- Magic: After consuming Belial's heart, and the Eternity Book, Thing gained magical and demonic abilities.[9]
- Hellfire Projection: Thing can breath hellfire powerful enough to scorch Merlin's beard off.[9]
- Eldritch Blast: Thing projected a magical blast from his mouth.[9]
Trivia
- The Thing has an unusual appetite. He's eaten lizards, Belial's heart (twice) and the Eternity Book.
Related
- 18 Appearances of Thing-That-Cannot-Die (New Earth)
- 3 Images featuring Thing-That-Cannot-Die (New Earth)
- 3 Quotations by or about Thing-That-Cannot-Die (New Earth)
- Character Gallery: Thing-That-Cannot-Die (New Earth)
Footnotes
  This character has been an ally or antagonist to either The Demon Etrigan or his counterpart Jason Blood in any of their various incarnations. |